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Posted by on in Other Addictions

There have been many times in my life when words or phrases came to mean something other than what many understand them to mean.  Off the top of my head I can think of a few examples.

My husband and I communicate in ways often causing our friends to do a double-take and wonder what in the world we are talking about.  For example, I might be in the living room doing something and yell down to my husband in the basement to bring me “that thing next to the big thing.”  Seconds later he hands me exactly what I needed.  We share a language created during our many years of living together.

Another opportunity to share a unique means of communication is in the work environment.  When I was still active in the corporate world, my team of many years knew exactly what each other needed or what we meant by a simple nod of the head or a raised eyebrow. We had spent hours together creating, editing, masterminding and learning to trust one another.  In all that time we eventually understood things without needing to say a word.  When we were in situations where verbal connection wasn't an option, those non-communication actions spoke volumes.  I was somehow comforted by this; feeling a sense of security knowing I was part of something uniquely special.

When I was drinking and rarely eating, there was a lot of conversation in my head which was uniquely special for me too.  I never shared these ongoing internal dialogues with anyone because I couldn’t explain them.  I had a difficult enough time myself just trying to understand how and why the subject matter would roll back and forth like a pendulum. One moment I’d be justifying my irrational behavior and the next I’d be mentally berating myself for having such thoughts.

I carried on with this silent metronome of conversation for years.  I was absolutely certain if anyone else could hear what I heard, they’d consider my train of thought not only foreign but nowhere near normal.

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

With another year on the horizon, I find myself wondering why we feel the need to wait for January’s coy signal to jolt us into making resolutions. Why January? Why do we wait until after the holidays have come and passed? Why do we wait for our lives to ‘calm down’ in order to focus on our goals? Why wait at all? What are we waiting for? What is keeping us from making these resolutions today, here, now? Why do we find ourselves distracted, busied with excuses, and comforted in our procrastination? Why must we wait for anything? What are YOU waiting for?

As I chat with friends and family alike, many of us agree that New Year’s resolutions are somewhat disheartening. We make grandiose plans for the New Year only to be disappointed in ourselves a few weeks post ‘declaration of bold aspirations.’ Whether it is weight-loss goals never met, hopes of eating healthier crushed at the sight of a coffee shop donut, or simply never getting around to cleaning the spare-room closet, we all suffer defeat and give up. Next year will be better, we all say to ourselves. Our goals were too big, too silly, or too difficult to accomplish anyway. We succumb to the veiled belief that our goals were not realistic to begin with, and we bond with one another in our sea of excuses.

It is laughable at first, but I find it quite sad as well. We are quick to busy ourselves with mundane activities only to avoid and hinder our REAL goals, our TRUEST desires, and our biggest DREAMS with resistance and fear. We lose sight of what it is that energizes our true being because we are too distracted with extraneous preoccupations of the day. I think Sogyal Rinpoche says it best:

“Western laziness consists of cramming our lives with compulsive activity, so that there is no time at all to confront the real issues.”

Look at your life. What are you busying yourself with today? What is distracting you from the present moment? Sure, social media, television, and music distract us from what is presently before us. But think deeper for a moment. What is distracting you from accomplishing your goals? What is stopping you from opening up that restaurant you’ve always wanted to open? Who is telling you that you cannot sell your paintings and be an artist full-time? What is distracting you from living your dreams today? Why do you find yourself occupied with ‘to-dos’ and push aside the real issue of fulfilling your life’s true purpose by achieving your goals?

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

Being convicted of any crime can lead to serious consequences that will affect the rest of your life. Charges involving narcotics or drug related offenses can be especially difficult to fight, as current drug laws are among the harshest in U.S. history. Law enforcement, in response to pressure to fight the war on drugs, has increased arrests for even the most minor offenses and prosecutors are required to push for tough sentences for the same reasons. Fighting a drug charge is difficult; fighting a drug charge without the right attorney is virtually impossible.

According to the Drug Enforcement Administration, 30,476 people were arrested in the U.S. in 2012 for narcotic related offenses.  Much attention has been focused on drug laws and prosecution of drug crimes in the past few decades. Both federal and state laws prohibit the possession, manufacture and sale of controlled substances. These include drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine.

At the federal level, there has long been a strategy in place to fight the abuse and selling of controlled substances. However, each state also enforces its own set of drug-related statutes. One of the most notable differences between state and federal drug laws is that the majority of state charges were made for simple possession, while most of the federal drug charges involve trafficking. More than half of all drug arrests made by state authorities are for possession of marijuana.

Another important difference between state drug laws and those on the federal level is the severity of the consequences if convicted. Federal narcotics convictions carry a harsh punishment and can often involve long sentences. State charges involving simple possession without intent to sell will often be charged as a misdemeanor, and can carry a sentence of probation, short jail sentences, or just a fine, depending on the criminal past and circumstances of the case. It is this wide range of possibilities that makes it all the more important to have the right lawyer on your side. An experienced attorney will know how best to navigate the drug charges and your particular case to ensure the best outcome for you.

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Posted by on in Gambling Addiction

From: Author, Catherine Lyon
Recovering Addicted Gambler
7 yrs in Recovery on Jan 29th, 2014
1996 to 2007-I was addicted


Dear Addicted Gambling Disease,
It’s time to make amends To ”Myself”……
.


.

It has been some time now since we have been together, or had any contact between the two of us. Seeing it’s the Holidays once again, I thought I’d drop a few lines to catch up on the years we have been apart. Things have been going really well for me these past years. Yes, you have crossed my mind through those years, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you that it is “Truly” time to “Say Goodbye” forever. Because it hurts for it to be so final….
.

But we seem to have drifted apart, so this shouldn’t be to difficult for either of us. We have shared, and been through a lot together. With some good times, and NOT so good. Many of those bad memories are pretty tough to forget. Because I didn’t see how you HURT ME in our friendship. I didn’t understand, towards the end of our break up that you could be so CRUEL & Hurtful….WHY?
.
You don’t understand what I’m talking about? Please, do I have to remind you of all the times you were just an ASS to ME? You really want me to go THERE?

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

Over the last 12 years, I've done a lot of self-study about what kept me in lock step with the powerful disease of addiction. I've peeled myself back, layer by layer, to unveil the root causes for this.

One of the most profound things I uncovered during that investigation was how the toxic phrase “I should know better” directed my life.

Growing up, I heard, " Honestly, Alison you really should know better” on a rather regular basis. This phrase was so ingrained into my head that as I grew older, if I found myself in a bad spot, within a second I’d think, “Ugh! I should have known better!”

For the average person, a reflection like that is nothing more than a casual check-in.

Not so for someone who lived for decades underneath the addictive, obsessive diseases of alcoholism and an eating disorder. For someone like me, that statement is monumentally damaging.

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

Music is an influential part of our lives but more often than not the rock stars we love struggle with addictions. Perscription drug overdose deaths have increased 250% since 1999. And celebrity lifestyles haven't helped the image of "doing drugs is cool."

Sad to say, many times a celebrities addiction to drugs and alcohol often leads to their death. Some of those celebrities are part of the 27 Club, an infamous group of rock stars who died at the age of 27, many of which died as a result of drug use.

The video below shows the statistics behind drug deaths and how drug use impacted the lives of the top five most popular members of the 27 Club.

View the video here: http://www.clarityway.com/blog/celebrities-who-have-died-dead-rockers-club-video/

 

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

More often than not, sexual offenses have little or nothing to do with sex. Rather, they have to do with power and control. It is not always strangers who participate in heinous sexual offenses, as it has been increasingly found that even people you might be familiar with and trust could very well be party to such crimes. There is a thin line between sexual offenses and sex addiction. Sex addiction is a progressive and compulsive urge to engage in sexual activities, whereas sex offense is a non-consensual sexual activity. However, some sex offenses are a result of an unchecked addiction to sex, although the percentage of this is said to be low.

Not all sex addicts are sexual offenders. If you have had a history of sex addiction (or not) but have been wrongly convicted for a sex crime, you can consult or hire an experienced attorney who can help you defend yourself in court.

Sex offenders can be male or female. Some of the most serious cases of sexual abuse have been those involving not just adults, but also children. Parents are required to take precautions and guard their children against pedophiles as most of them turn out to be someone the parents trust, is familiar to the child and/or a person of authority. Some of the common behavioral traits, which should act as warning signs for parents, that are found among child sex abusers are:

  • Telling the child that they are special and treating them differently from other kids
  • Looking for excuses to spend time alone with the child
  • Touching the child inappropriately, especially on intimate body parts
  • Asking the child to carry out activities that involve intimate physical contact like massaging/rubbing the body, applying ointments, etc. or performing the same on the child
  • Looking at or touching the child's body on the pretext of observing their growth and development
  • Saying or describing sexual things to the child
  • Talking to the child about their body and their overall appearance in a sexual way
  • Showing sexually explicit pictures and videos to the child
  • Entering the child's room or bathroom when they are also in there
  • Not letting the child have friends and not letting him do things that other children do like playing, going out, etc.
  • Insisting that the child must not talk to anyone else except him/her (the pedophile)

Increase

There are things that parents can do to protect their children from such sexual predators. They can start by teaching their children a few important things that they can use to defend/save themselves. Some tips regarding the same are mentioned below:

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Tagged in: Child Sex Offenders
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Posted by on in Recommended Reading

In early recovery, I was often told, “Trust me, you’ll feel better soon”, or, “I know this is hard, but I promise, you’ll feel better soon.” I lived by those words.  I was so shaky, ashamed and scared. I felt awful.  I desperately hoped the non-stop physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual suffering would stop.  I wanted so badly to feel better, physically as well as emotionally. I tried each and every day to focus on those words of reassurance and deny what I thought and felt inside.  I held tight to the recommendations of my recovery role models, the encouragement from my friends and family outside the rooms of recovery and my own willingness to get better, hoping eventually I’d feel better.

And eventually I did, but not in the way I had expected.  What began to happen was I started to feel my feelings better.  I started to feel happiness better, I started to feel anger better, and I started to feel sadness better.

Although this sounds like a play on words – feeling my feelings better - the point is, in order for me to experience healthy recovery I had to allow myself to actually feel what I had long been trying to deflect, change or control.

For example, during the Christmas holidays my emotions would always kick into overdrive.   No matter what age I was, I would become completely nostalgic.  I’d think about stringing the lights with my dad, hearing my grandfather whistling a holiday tune or sitting at the top of the staircase with my brothers and sister waiting for my Dad to tell us Santa had arrived.  I’d get excited to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” with my family or maybe catch an old Charles Dickens movie by myself.  As I got older the holidays stopped being those experienced as a child.  They became strung by addiction instead of lights and wrapped around bottles of wine with little food instead of gifts presented with love.

I won’t lie, those first few winter holidays in recovery were difficult.  I couldn’t stop focusing on how sad, angry and frustrated I felt for all those Christmas and New Year holidays lost in the blur of addiction.  In those early recovery years I had difficulty fully embracing the magic of the season.  To be honest, I really wanted nothing more than to get through the series of events, wishing they would just be over.

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

The other night, as I was driving past a Hustler store on Commercial Boulevard, I thought about how my life used to be when I was in active addiction.  No, I didn't hang out in X-rated stores and pornography was not my thing, but illicit activity was certainly no stranger.

Seeing the store triggered thoughts of the racy lifestyle of drugs and alcohol and ecstasy and clubs.  I was reminded of my close friends who are still living a life which includes these elements. I wondered how they were doing.  I thought about the fact that we are in the month of December, a true party month for those who still party.

I remember looking toward holiday vacation with great anticipation.  Many days in a row to get f--ed up.  Many parties, much alcohol, many bags of cocaine, many hot guys, many dark clubs.  It was all so appealing at one time-a time when I was filled with fear and doubt and didn't even know it.

Today, fourteen years into sobriety on December 20, I still look forward to my time off but it looks very different. I get to plan vacations and very full, active days with my family and friends. Increase I spend time my with incredible 7 year old.  I work on my book Addictionland.  I throw parties for women in recovery and we share laughs, pot luck food and spiritual experiences.

I appreciate each and every conversation with my parents, whether they are short or long, happy or sad, positive or negative.  We babysit Ollie, a goldendoodle who likes to sleep on my head and takes me flying behind her when she goes for a jog.  I have too many fun options to consider, great friends to make plans with, dear familly to visit, great books to read, interesting shows to watch, incredible art to make, etc.

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Posted by on in Gambling Addiction

 

*Daring to help someone in Crisis*…..

December 13, 2013

Tell us about the time you rescued someone else (person or animal) from a dangerous situation. What happened? How did you prevail?

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