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Posted by on in Co-dependency

For a family member it can be hard to let go of the attachment to a loved one’s recovery.

We want to be in our comfort zone, yet we may not know how to let go of our worry and concern.

If we let go, we could lose control of the one attachment we have to our child. It can be like a balloon that we let float away. We wonder which direction the balloon will take, and if the balloon will ever fully recover and return to us.

Recovery and healing are inside jobs. It helps to have people who care, give you encouragement, support and love. Sometimes the fear is that our family member won’t seek recovery, at least not on our time table and maybe not at all.

For a family member, this fear can take over our life. With time hopefully we are able to let go and see our attachment for what it is. It may be a way of blaming others for our pain, or it may be a way to control those around us.

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Tagged in: addiction recovery
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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

IMG_1879Attending twelve-step meetings regularly, you are bound to hear somebody recommend that you get a commitment. Personally, I am one of the people that suggests even the newest of my sponsees get commitments. Commitments have been one of the greatest tools in my sobriety, are relatively simple, and the return on investment is huge.

Getting commitments have several benefits. First, I truly felt like a part of the recovery group I was in. My home group meets every morning, and has about 4o-50 people. Everyone knows each other, and coming in new to this meeting was a little scary. I got a few commitments on different days, and everyone quickly learned my name. People recognized me even when I didn't recognize them. Even though I still wasn't completely self-confident, I felt much better about attending the meeting. Even if I had the simplest commitment, I felt as I was an integral part, just as I had seen other with commitment as integral parts.

Having commitments has also helped me show up when I don't want to. Often, I wake up in the morning and do not feel like going to my regular meeting. My mind tells me I don't need to, that I should sleep in, etc. However, a commitment helps me show up and be responsible even when I don't feel like doing so. Almost always, I show up on these days in a bad mood and leave with great gratitude that I came. Commitments really have helped me keep some consistency in my sobriety.

Commitments are great ways to be of service on a regular basis as well. Although taking commitments does a lot for us, it also is a great way to help others. Meetings need people to take commitments in order to run. Without commitment-takers, meetings would fall apart. Whether you set up the meeting, clean cigarette butts, or make the sponsorship announcement, taking a commitment is a great service to the group as a whole. Because it is a form of service, commitments help us build esteem and connect with the community.

http://theeasiersofterway.com

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

In light of National Drug Facts Week (Jan. 27- Feb. 2), Here's a video we recently created about the popular "party" drug Molly and its harmful side effects.

The synthetic drug market, which includes Molly, is the fastest growing drug problem in America. Help us spread awareness about the aggressive and harmful effects the drug has on your brain.

VIDEO: http://www.clarityway.com/blog/what-does-molly-do-video/

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

Giving Thanks to SufferingI was recently asked to speak at a meeting in which the speaker chose a reading from As Bill Sees It. I flipped open the book randomly, and came to the entry on page 226 entitled Give Thanks from the March 1962 episode of the Grapevine. It read:

Though I still find it difficult to accept today's pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity - as those more advanced in the spiritual life seem able to do - I can give thanks for present pain nevertheless.

I find the willingness to do this by contemplating the lessons learned from past suffering - lessons which have led to the blessings I now enjoy. I can remember how the agonies of alcoholism, the pain of rebellion and thwarted pride, have often led me to God's grace, and so to a new freedom.

I have not read every page of As Bill Sees It, but I don't know if I could have turned to a page that I agree with more. Although I do not practice this in every moment, I try my best to. Turning toward our suffering and not running from it is a indispensable practice. The tendency of recovering addicts to run from unpleasant feelings is often a result of what is taught in twelve-step programs: to call your sponsor, go to a meeting, or help a newcomer.

Generally, I think these things are great. I call my mentors every day, go to many meetings, and work with as many newcomers as I am able to. However, these are not solutions for our own issues. When I am feeling an unpleasant feeling (like anxiety), calling a sponsor may not be the right choice. A sponsor may tell me to go to a meeting or help a newcomer, but these are not helping me grow how I need. Going to a meeting or working with somebody else are both important aspects of my recovery, but again, they do not necessarily offer the best solution.

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.”  ~ Brené Brown

Do you feel shame because of your addiction?

The thing is, there is plenty of shame to go around when it comes to addiction.

Family members, especially parents, feel it as well. I felt anxious when I realized that someone in my family could not manage their life. I felt responsible and yet shame and fear stopped me from asking for help.

Addiction and shame go hand in hand. It is hard to understand where one starts and the  other ends. Addiction leaves us feeling powerless, isolated and unworthy whether we are the addicted person or the family member. There is a strong sense of secrecy and silence about addiction. It feels like something that is easier to hide and just not talk about.

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

Teen substance abuse is deceiving.

There are new drugs that catch the eye of our teens everyday and are very dangerous to their health.

Some parents are caught off guard when their kids experiment with drugs or alcohol.

Others are not.

Some parents feel this is within the range of normal teenage behavior, while other parents are extremely frustrated by their inability to stop their child’s substance abuse.

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Posted by on in Co-dependency

I have hardly met a family that has not been touched in some way by addiction. Yet when my kids were growing up, it never occurred to me that this could happen to our family.

I didn’t suspect my child’s experimentation would ever lead to addiction. I was in denial, hoping that time would cure this problem as it does so many other things. I know now how wrong I was.

Addiction is a disease that hurts deeply, it breaks the entire fabric of love and respect that binds the family together. I felt the hurt. My days were challenging and painful when I was in the midst of dealing with my child’s addiction. I felt manipulated, used and rarely appreciated.

I could feel myself enabling, doing things that did not help. I was hoping for a quick fix. I knew deep down that this wasn’t going to work, but I couldn’t stop.

On occasion, the fear engulfed me as I lay awake with my eyes staring at the ceiling watching each hour pass by until dawn.

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Tagged in: addiction recovery
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Posted by on in Gambling Addiction

I want to THANK "Cate" for helping me have an AWESOME 2013! Being a "Guest Gambling  Recovery Expert here was one of the "Highlights" of my year, right next to becoming a 1st time published author! So I wanted to come wish all my "Recovery Friends" here at "Addictionland" a very *HAPPY NEW YEAR*.....

Each year I do a *Special Recovery Message* on my blog on New Years Eve, in the event someone looking for recovery information happens to wonder over to my Recovery Blog. I want those who still suffer from ANY type od addiction, not just Addicted Compulsive Gambling. I want that person who may feel Alone & Helpless, that SOMEONE truly cares about them, and there is a much "Better Way Of Life" in recovery. So I wanted to come share it here with all of you! And I wish you all a Healthy & Successful Year!


God Bless,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485 Now as e-Book for Kindle!

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*A NEW YEAR MEANS NEW BEGINNINGS IN LIFE & RECOVERY*
*MY NEW YEARS TO ADDICTS MESSAGE*
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My New Year message is to share a meaningful, positive piece of “Advice.” Many of you know that I live my “Life” in recovery from Addicted Compulsive Gambling and a wee bit too much Alcohol. I just want to say to anyone who happens to wander here to this blog, and your are, or want to have a *Beautiful Life in Recovery*…..it is and can be DONE! Please visit my Recovery blog, which is also on WordPress at: http://CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes.wordpress.com you will find an excellent “Recovery Resources Pages List” with ALL kinds of recovery help and information to get you started on your *Journey of Recovery.
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Addiction is addiction no matter the type. Many of the habits and behaviors are the same. The diseased thinking, having triggers and urges, we use blame, denial, excuses. Relapse’s are the same because no MATTER THE DEMON, drugs, gambling, porn, food, sex, booze, “IT’s All About getting stuck, and sucked in by “THE CYCLE” of the addiction.
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There is a lot of *Truth* in the saying, “You keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, EXPECTING a different out come, and it NEVER COMES, it NEVER HAPPENS, it’s the same old “SHIT” time after time.
AREN’T YOU TIRED of feeling sick and tired all time? Those feelings like your all alone in your addiction? As if NO ONE KNOWS how you feel? No ONE understands you? Those crappy, dark, feelings of “HOPELESSNESS”?
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TRUST ME, I sure DO! My gambling addiction had me SO OVER THE  EDGE TWICE, that I tried SUICIDE ~ TWICE, that’s how low my life was. How low, dark, and hopeless I felt.
Yes, it will take hard work to attain and stay in recovery, but I can “HONESTLY” tell you it “TRULY” is worth it! YOU are worth a better LIFE! I got tired of chasing something that was never going to be the SAME. I think drug addicts can relate best to this. All your “HIGHS” have NEVER been the same as the First Right? If your honest about it, then you know I’m being HONEST with you.
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Most who know me,  know that I won’t or Don’t ”Sugar Coat” Addiction & Recovery.
Sometimes “Tough Honesty” can save a “LIFE”……

So go ahead, contemplate what I’m telling all you addicts, its New Years Eve. Go ahead, take that “FIRST STEP,” and make a “Resolution Tonight,” it’s a better time than any to CHOOSE LIFE.
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So instead of screwing the cap off that bottle of Booze, or cracking open that BEER, or smoking that next joint, or poking that NEEDLE in your Arm, or for you addicted gamblers, before you stuff that Poker or Slot machine with more $20′s, or before you sit down to that Poker, or Blackjack table, think about how it would actually feel to walk through all the FEAR you have, to learn WHY you need to USE ADDICTION to hide from old wounds that just won’t stop nagging you?
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Just think about living a LIFE FREE from YOUR ADDICTION? Each and every one of us was given a gift.
A GIFT OF CHOICE…..YES, it’s about the choice’s we make. And many times our “OLD PAINS & HURTS” can really turn us upside down. YOU and millions have been given a GIFT from “A Power Greater Then Ourselves”……

A High Power who will be their for you each step of your Recovery Journey, just like he was their With and For me when I took that “FIRST STEP” of a BETTER & BEAUTIFUL LIFE”………..
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AND TRUST ME, where I had to LIFT myself up from was not PRETTY. I was laying in an Addiction/Mental Hold and Crisis Center, via the hospital FOR THE 2nd TIME.
When I was released, I had many court dates from POOR CHOICES, ”Criminal Charges” of theft and forgery.
No friends, No Family, even my husband left for a few weeks, because he had ENOUGH. Then jail, probation, and HOURS of community service, OH YEAH, and $$ Restitution!
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That’s all I ever got from Addiction. Lost jobs, house, car, money, time I’ll never get back, and it almost COST ME MY LIFE!
So on Jan 29th, 2007 on my Court Sentencing Day, I TOOK MY LIFE BACK!! The rest was all De-Vine INTERVENTION. NO, you don’t have to be Religious, Be Saved, or even be a Christian to reach out for “Recovery,” and to live a beautiful life in recovery, BUT,…….I Wouldn’t recommend It.
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Just think of a being, a “Strong Higher Being” in your Life to guide you as you take that 1st very important step in your life into *RECOVERY*
Since I have, I have been blessed in so many ways, there are too many to count. The most exciting and rewarding was becoming a *First Time Published Author* ~ AT 50 years old!! It’s Never To Late to make “DREAMS COME TRUE” in Recovery!
And, this past year has been the best EVER! Meeting so many recovery friends and family who have supported me with my book and my recovery! Many new friends through Social Media, Recovery websites, and more!
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I’ve been some what successful as a writer, blogger, and mentor to others who were also STUCK on that “DAMN CYCLE of ADDICTION”!! I have faith in YOU that a year from now in recovery you will NOT BE the same. So why not try something different?
Yes, it will be tough, but it’s better than chasing that drunk, that high, or that big JACKPOT that never comes, and I know that you have the “Courage & Will" to JUST DO IT!
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SO THIS IS MY NEW YEARS WISH FOR YOU!
So if Gambling is the monkey on your back? Then come visit my Recovery Blogs Resources Pages, which has many options for FREE Recovery help, websites listed, and important information to get you started in the RIGHT DIRECTION!

http://CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes.wordpress.com Here are a few other Websites and information that my help as well:
http://myaddiction.com
www.aa.org ~ Alcohol
www.na.org ~ NA Drugs

http://gamblersanonymous.org ~ Gambling
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255

“AS OF RIGHT NOW"?
YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE! I CARE!”….

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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

SufferingAlthough it is our natural tendency to turn away from suffering and wish for happiness, it is actually the suffering itself that leads to wisdom. It is inevitable that we suffer and experience discomfort. When we just run from it, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from it. However, our suffering really can be the gateway to freedom.

People have suffering in one place, so they go somewhere else. When suffering arises there, they run off again. They think they’re running away from suffering, but they’re not. Suffering goes with them. They carry suffering around without knowing it. If we don’t know suffering, then we can’t know the cause of suffering. If we don’t know the cause of suffering, then we can’t know the cessation of suffering. There’s no way we can escape it.

These words from Ajahn Chah put it another way. If we don't take the time to know our suffering, we won't be able to understand it. If we don't know and understand the roots of our suffering, we can't experience the cessation of suffering. Looking at it this way, it is a wonder that we ever deny our suffering.

Why Do We Turn Away from Suffering?

The answer to this question is fairly simple. We turn away from suffering because it is unpleasant and doesn't feel good to us. When we are suffering, we are uncomfortable, discontented, and generally dis-eased. It seems natural that we turn away from such feelings.

One of the reasons we turn away from the suffering is this natural instinct. For survival, we are programmed to avert from suffering. In nature, if we feel some sort of pain or suffering, it is often in our best interest to move away from it. If humans didn't move away from the pain, we may have been hurt or killed. This natural instinct lives on today, and we move away from even the slightest discomfort and unpleasantness.

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

 

Sobriety is an interesting thing, especially as most people initially attempt to find recovery at a 12-step meeting. The focus of this article is to discuss a different way of staying sober that is outside the confines of AA or NA, or a traditional approach to recovery.

I used alcohol and drugs for a period of 10 years.  After significant social and health problems I was faced with a decision after being in a coma for nearly a month due to my drug use. My experience as a clinician is that everybody who makes a decision to quit using needs to find their own motivation to quit and remain chemical-free.  My motivation came from my grandmother when she said, “I was very concerned that you wouldn’t make it”.  This is significant to me because both of my grandparents survived Auschwitz.  They spent every day not knowing if they would be alive for the next 24 hours. My grandmother is my moral compass and I remember thinking that if she was able to find a way to stay alive for four years in horrific conditions, I could find a way to stay sober.

When I got sober my grandparents asked me to try 12-step meetings.  I attended for some time but I never resonated with the approach.  While some people find recovery through 12-step meetings, I think it’s important to remember that most popular doesn’t always mean most successful.

 

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