Loving someone is complicated; loving someone with an addiction is even more complicated. I’ve been the wife of an addict and am the mother of a child with an addiction, so I know that the choices you are sometimes forced to make seem unbearable. My codependence was at such an acute level when I started my healing journey that the term “flaming codependent” was not an exaggeration.
It took me quite a while to realize that there was nothing that I could do to control or change my loved ones. And when that realization finally took hold of me, I vowed to take back my life.
At first I thought that my healing journey involved just my relationships with my loved ones. But that quickly lead to the realization that what I needed was a complete review of all my relationships and that included the one I had with myself.
I began my journey as many others have by learning as much as I could about the addict and their addiction, attending Al Anon meetings, getting private counseling sessions, building my support network, taking the focus off of their lives and onto my own, etc, but there was still something missing. The missing piece was in knowing how to truly nourish all of me, how to love myself. So, I started looking at the foods that I was eating, at the relationships that I was in, the career that I was in, the form of exercise that I was using and my own personal connection with Spirit. That process continues today.
One of the first things that I learned how to do was to breathe. This helped to calm my mind and body, especially when I started feeling like a hamster on a wheel that I couldn’t get off of. This simple exercise helped me a lot and still does today....