Originally Posted @ http://www.newbridgerecovery.com/marijuana-harmless-addictive/
Addictionland - Addiction Recover Blog
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At 19 years old I’d lived a fairly charmed life. I grew up in an affluent NYC suburb with loving, if flawed, parents. It was the 1950’s and my father believed that women had specific (traditional) roles. As the youngest of 3 the rules were somewhat relaxed for me, but I chaffed under their weight nonetheless. So I rebelled, in a mostly ladylike manner. In the fall of 1972 all that had been before, my childish notions about the inherent goodness of all people, idealistic political views, and my core belief that my parents could fix anything, were run through a meat grinder, never to be the same again. It was the beginning of 20 months in hell.
In early recovery, it was suggested "don't drink/use, stay out of relationships, go to meetings, change people, places and things and get a sponsor." While the suggestion to abstain from alcohol and drugs was the most important suggestion, the suggestion to get a sponsor was second in importance. Without a person to guide me through the steps or demonstrate sobriety to me, I would be lost.
At first, I picked a sponsor who was as well as me (which means not well at all!!) It took a while until I realized it wasn't okay to smoke pot "once in a while" with twelve years of so-called sobriety. Next, a professional, Jewish woman like myself approached me to offer me guidance after announcing I was sponsorless.
I went through the steps with her and slowly pushed her away when a sexier sponsor caught my eye. He (yes, I did say he!) was Italian, suave, brilliant and emotionally unavailable. He was exactly what I needed because I had no self worth and chasing him gave me a sense of purpose!
Thankfully, the wisdom he emparted was solid and chasing him from meeting to meeting enabled me to get quite an education on recovery. He went to 4-5 meetings a day and so did I! Eventually, he broke up with me and I had to find a power I could rely on. I found a woman with 25 years to take me through the steps again and she taught me how to use the steps to strengthen my connection with my higher self, which I call G-d.
When she picked up a pill after her husband died, I couldn't believe it. This was the one human being in the world who demonstrated the principles of recovery to me in a consistent manner. If she could pick up, no one was safe! I looked for another woman to replace her and couldnt find someone with her type of sobriety....