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Posted by on in Drug Addiction

Inhalant Abuse and Prevention Update:  The Alliance for Consumer Education has put together a site where you can go and make a pledge to talk to your child about the dangers of inhalant use, as Children are 50% less likely to try an inhalant if an adult role model talks to them about the dangers of inhalant abuse.  I have attached the following link for those who might be interested.

http://www.inhalant.org/nipaw/talk-child/

They also have public service announcements related to inhalant abuse from those affected, family members from children who have passed away, as well as former users, like myself.  I did a public service announcement with my mother and sister some years back for the Alliance for Consumer Education and the results of their effectiveness are amazing.

Www.inhalant.org also offers an Inhalant Abuse Prevention Kit, quiz, and lesson plans for anyone looking.

 

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

Even when I was in the absolute worst stage of unabashed drinking and irregular, unhealthy eating habits, very little if anything could have pushed me to seek recovery any sooner than I did.

Those who love me worked tirelessly in the effort to convince me I needed help.  Each gesture or suggestion was met with resistance, denial and deflection.  Those caring and compassionate individuals had all but prepared themselves to receive the dreaded phone call I’d finally succumbed to the disease of addiction.

The more people tried to persuade me of my destruction, the more my distance from them widened.  I wasn’t ready to stop.  I liked being able to decide for myself when, where and how much I engaged in what I believed was pure merriment.  I’d perfected my silent rationalization to slip into the haze of too much alcohol with little food. When I was in the state of nothingness, life’s emotional ups and downs didn’t matter anymore. I cherished my ability firmly and sternly control what I put my mental energy into and what was erased. As long as I kept my booze supply up and my weight down, all was well in the world.  And oh boy, did I love the “high” I felt when the deception, manipulation and lies all fell into place.

Until they didn’t.

When I finally found myself sitting across the desk of an intake counselor at a substance abuse treatment center I still was clinging to the belief I could one day drink again and eat as I saw fit.  I vividly remember the woman asking me how much alcohol I drank each day and my response of “oh, not that much” was quickly deflected when she held up my liver count report. I just wasn’t ready to stop believing I could run the show and direct the participants.

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

I am honored to be the December Expert particularly because this first day happens to be my birthday. Yet the date does not mark the only time I was shifted from a place of comfort to a visceral shock to the system.

I’ve been given the most precious gift of life three times. I was physically born in December of 1961, almost died in 2001 and then tested fate again in 2008. The 46-year journey was a roller coaster of addiction, emotional chaos and nonstop searching for a way out.

Although I can't remember the first few celebrations of the date I entered this world, all accounts indicated they were joyous, happy and fun. I’ve been told people poured attention on me with beautifully wrapped boxes to open and cards read by others with messages for a future far better than their own.

 

 

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Posted by on in Food Addiction

In this excerpt from her bestselling book on bulimia, Caroline Miller describes the criticism, shame and pressure that fueled her relentless self-loathing and despair.  Ordinarily successful in all her endeavors, Caroline has trouble accepting her inability to assert will power to fix her eating disorder.

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Posted by on in none

In response to this post

Twenty-seven years later:

Even though I’ve now been married for 27 years to the same man I was about to marry in this scene, everything has changed for the better, thank goodness. But boy, did it take work, consistency and continuing to pick myself up every time I slipped and fell.

It’s so easy for me to recall those feelings of despair and hopelessness in this scene, though.  In fact, I can’t walk into an industrial, single stall bathrooms without flashing back to the worst, and most painful, seven years of my life as depicted here.  What gives me the most heartache from this passage, though, is that I was so alone.  I hadn’t confided in anyone about my battle, and the irony is that today, my bulimia is an open secret.  In fact, I was recently interviewed for a television show about my current work as a professional coach, author and motivational speaker, and at the end I was asked about my favorite “power moment”: the time when I knew I was a woman who had stepped into her most “powerful self.”  Without any hesitation, what came out of my mouth was that I was proudest of my recovery from bulimia, and that I was the person I am today because of my willingness to confront my demons and to turn them into my biggest strengths.

So we need to always remember that not only do we have to find those safe places to go for healing, and that the people who matter the most will always be there to help us, but also that the things we might be most ashamed of could become the touchstones of our greatest growth and change.

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Posted by on in Food Addiction

Bestselling author of "My Name is Caroline", the first major autobiography on bulimia, shares about the overwhelming despair that prompted her to abuse herself bodily and mentally.  As a recovered bulimic myself, I relate to Caroline's rejection of self despite her upstanding, affluent family and her enjoyment of many of life's finest pleasures.

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Posted by on in Food Addiction

My Name is Caroline is one of the first books written by a survivor of an eating disorder that addresses how to free your life of food and weight obsessions.

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Posted by on in Food Addiction

I grew up near South Beach. I pinched my body fat when no one was looking at me. I envied the girls who ate without fear. I envied the girls who wore a size 0. My insatiable appetite embarrassed me.  Every day, I battled with food, my body, my wardrobe and the mirror.  No matter how good I looked, I only saw my fat. 

I tried several tactics to control my eating. I avoided food, implemented portion control, followed fad diets and eliminated sugar. I over exercised, threw up, abstained from eating and used prescription drugs. When those methods failed, I invented the Cocaine Diet.

The diet was a combination of abstainance from food, cigarettes, cocaine and male attention. My body transformed and I looked like Lindsey Lohan.  People as distorted as me were jealous of my skinny appearance and fake boobs.  Inside, I still felt disgusting. I might fool others, but I could never escape my inner truth.

When the pain was great enough, I admitted I was powerless and a door to freedom appeared. It would be years before I realized a woman's essence, not her weight, is what matters.

Best,

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