Addiction Recovery Blog

Addictionland - Addiction Recover Blog

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Login
    Login Login form
Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in dealing with a using loved one

Posted by on in Co-dependency

Originally Posted @ http://www.newbridgerecovery.com/newbridge-understanding-addicts-mind/ 

The mind of the chronic addict, and alcoholic, has been baffling spouses, friends, bosses, scientists, and therapists for centuries. What the heck is going on in the addict’s brain? To the casual outsider, the behavior of the addict seems irrational, confusing, and even insane. They are like the person who puts his hand on a hot stove and gets burned, yet five minutes later they do it again! People unfamiliar with addiction may observe the addict’s actions and think him/her weak-willed or moronic. A recovered addict myself, often even I can’t understand the minds of the addicts I interact with. Surprisingly the addict is generally a sensitive, self-aware, and complex individual; unpredictable at times. My experience as a former addict gives me additional insight into the mysterious realm of the addict’s mind, and here are my observations:

People (Generally) Don’t Choose to be Addicted

The first step in understanding the addict is to realize that they are sick, actually suffering from a disease called addiction. Similar to bi-polar and depression, addiction is a mental condition that results in a defect in the functioning of the neuro transmitters of the brain, specifically the dopamine-reward system. Put simply, the brain of the addict is vulnerable to dependency upon drugs and alcohol because of the effect they have on the brain. Most addicts try to stop or cutback their substance abuse when consequences and problems arise, like when the person burns his hand on the stove. Yet they find themselves succumbing to abusing drugs, putting their hands on the hot stove again. Eventually they lose control over their ability to moderate or stop using drugs. Although the addict is suffering from a disease, it shouldn’t be an excuse for their behavior or actions. Many parents or spouses of the addict think that their love, affection, or threats should be enough incentive to damper addiction, yet these methods often fall short to stop the neurological entrapment of drug addiction.

no-choice

 

...
0

Posted by on in Drug Addiction

I'm sure that many of you can relate to coincidences like when you learn about a new word, you find that you hear it more, but when in reality it's just something new that has come into your awareness, it was really there all along.  This is of course something that happens to me often, but has certainly been my experience since I have been writing this blog, as it is now always in my awareness to look for opportunities for what to discuss next and they just keep popping into my life!

Working in the addiction field, and the job I have in particular, keeps me very focused but also very isolated.  Working in addiction also creates a sort of bubble, being that my clients are all trying to get out of their active addiction, my co-workers are all in recovery, and the doctors are addictionologists.  I had been in California for four or five years and didn’t realize that I was protecting myself in a way, by not branching out of my comfort zone.  So it wasn’t until about two years ago, that I started to go out to new places and interact with new people that have never struggled with an addiction.  (People that experience temporary stress instead of chronic anxiety are still a wonder to me!)

The benefit, however, of the bubble realization was that all of that prep work that I had been doing (working with a sponsor, doing the steps, going to multiple types of therapy to figure out the core issues as to why I was using inhalants, then working on those core issues) was in preparation for returning to the real world and all its challenges and this time having a more positive impact, on myself and on those around me, and it was time to use them!  The tools I have learned (especially emotional regulation, coping skills, and trigger identification) and the resources I have developed have been crucial in my relapse prevention, because life sure does throw me some curveballs and when I did come out of hiding, I found that some of my wreckage from my past was still there waiting for me.  I am definitely grateful that I was given the opportunity to have a second chance, to get to be the same person, but a better version.  By doing the footwork, it allows me to look at the same situations but have different reactions and therefore different outcomes than I would have in the past.

I feel that in order to be effective in communicating with people who are also struggling and/or looking for solutions or education, I need to write about things that truly affect me emotionally, because if what I'm writing doesn't induce some sort of feelings for me, how could it in someone else?  So full disclosure in the hopes that someone can relate and hopefully allowing me to be of service.

The reason that the ability to have different reactions that produce different and better outcomes is on my mind is due to some events that occurred in my week.  I felt discouraged this week for two reasons, and I feel like they have happened while I have volunteered to write this blog for a reason.  I am a person that falls victim to a certain type of mental trap, where your brain immediately jumps into negative thinking or disaster mode when you hear certain things that are not ideal.  In the treatment facilities I work with, we refer to it as addict brain.

...
Tagged in: 10th tradition 12 step 12 step recovery AA abstinence accurate self-appraisal action program action steps addict addiction addiction help addiction memoir addiction recovery Addiction Specialist addictive behavior addicts affected affirmations Alcoholics Anonymous answers anxiety anxiety and recovery ask for help Asking for help attitude of gratitude awareness balance being a loving mirror being a loving person being of service Big Book Caring for those who still suffer co-addiction co-occurring disorder compassion courage dealing with a using loved one depression discomfort drug abuse drug addiction emotional management emotional maturity emotional regulation emotional sobriety emotions faith family recovery fear first step goal setting goals gratitude gratitude journey Guest Blogger guilt healing HELPING OTHERS higher self inadequacy inner satisfaction intervention inventory letting go Life Challenges life on life's terms literature memoir mental health mindfulness mindfulness and recovery Motivation My Story openness positive energy program of recovery recovery recovery talk relapse prevention Resilience right action right intention self care Self Love self-compassion self-confidence self-esteem self-help self-honesty serenity shame sobriety sponsor stepwork struggle substance abuse suffering suffering addicts Support surrender tenth tradition thinking thinking errors Trying to save a Life turn it over twelve step recovery twelve steps Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions twelve steps of aa twelve traditions twelve traditions of aa why i used drugs
0

Posted by on in Co-dependency

Ever find yourself thinking obsessively about your addicted loved one, wondering where they are, what they are doing, what they are thinking, if they are okay? Ever think that if you stop checking on them something terrible will happen and that if it weren't for them, your life would be so much better?

If so, you are not alone. One of the signs of codependency is being unable to stop thinking, talking, and building your life around your loved one. Notice, I said 'loved one' and not 'addicted loved one'.

In Alanon, there's a saying that you belong here if you are troubled by someone's drinking. In other words, it's not their problem, it is yours. You are troubled.

So the next time you find yourself obsessing about your loved one's drinking, drugging, smoking or other difficult behavior, remember that it truly is NOT about them. It's about YOU. It's about how you are spending the precious seconds, moments, hours and days of YOUR life.

Loving someone who uses is difficult.True. But, how and whether we respond or react to their behavior says more about us and our recovery than it does about theirs.

...
0


website by DesignSpinner.com | © Addictionland LLC