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Category contains 2 blog entries contributed to teamblogs

Posted by on in Other Addictions

Gender identity describes an internal sense of whether one is male or female. When an individual is transgender, this feeling doesn't match their actual sex.  Their body is male or female, but inside they feel that they are really the opposite sex.  Many people feel "trapped" in the wrong body.

This feeling of being different may begin early in life. Many adults who are transgender remember noticing a difference as children between what their bodies looked like on the outside and what they felt on the inside. Other transgender people make this discovery as adults. Some individuals decide to make changes like surgery or hormones to alter their body. These changes are described as "transsexual." 

It is also important to distinguish that some individuals use makeup, haircuts, or clothing styles to look like members of the other gender. Cross-dressing is not the same thing as being transgender. Cross-dressers may be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

 Stigma, Shame, Discrimination and Fear Cause Many Stressors:

For both the transgender and the gay, lesbian and bi-sexual population, feeling isolated, different, odd, weird and sad can lead to depression.  In some cases depression can lead to suicide.  Transgender teens are especially susceptible to depression, suicide and suicide attempts. It is also important to address discrimination, fear, rejection, confusion and bullying.  Transgender individuals may experience people who are discriminatory due to lack of information, biases and ignorance.  Unfortunately, encounters can add to an already existing feeling of self-hatred, low esteem or depression.

Conversely, there are many supporters too.  Additionally, there are thousands of people who share the same transgender and gay or lesbian status.  They have experienced and even have learned to cope with the same problems, emotions and insecurities.  These are the people to seek out and learn from!  Below are some supportive suggestions for compassionate and understanding assistance:

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

Marcy Dater Weiss, Ph.D, LCSW, CEAP,CAP, SAP is a graduate of University of Central Florida. As a licensed therapist she works in private practice in West Palm Beach and Delray Beach. She has worked extensively with clients with addictions, sexual abuse, depression and anxiety as well as anger management and family issues.

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

We are all addicts. This is true whether we've ever touched, heroin, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine or any other substances associated with addiction. The human ego spends its time clinging to comfortable, familiar and pleasant experience. It also flees from uncomfortable and unpleasant experience.

An extreme example of the latter is buried traumatic memories in the case of warfare or rape. While in some cases this is a healthy process, it mainly amounts to addiction.

A lot of spiritual literature emphasizes the art of nonattachment. You'll notice that Buddhism places a huge emphasis on this, and it's the same with a variety of other wellness traditions both spiritual and secular. In many of these cases, you may notice that meditation is recommended as a training vehicle for learning nonattachment.

What I'm saying here is that meditation is the art of addiction recovery in the most fundamental sense of the term. Meditation is the long term antidote to the "Great Addiction" - the desperate grasping of the ego.

When you can calmly observe your moment to moment experience as a detached observer, then you can gradually dissolve all the problems of the addicted mind at their roots. The more present you can be with your thoughts and experiences without addiction, the more efficiently you "digest" them. This means emotional healing and recovery from not only addictions, but from all types of tension that the Great Addiction creates.

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Tagged in: addiction
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Posted by on in Other Addictions

Dr. Marcy Dater Weiss, Ph. D, LCSW, CEAP, CAP, SAP is a Psychotherapist and Board Certified Sexologist. She has worked extensively with clients with addictions, sexual abuse, depression and anxiety as well as anger management and family issues.

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

"The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration.  Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands.  The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 76.

As far back as I can remember, I demanded my needs be met.Increase  I demanded my brother pay attention to me as a child.  I demanded my mother buy me expensive jeans like my best friend's mother did. I demanded my body look like Brooke Shields in her Calvin Kleins. I demanded my boyfriend never speak to his ex-girlfriend.  The more demands I put on myself and others, the more paranoid and fearful I became.

Fast forward a good twenty years later and I have learned how to reduce my demands.  There has been no quick fix-rather a very painful process of trying to push my way through brick walls until I finally surrendered and became willing to act in a new way.  The more I was forced to act differently (or else drink again), the more I came to trust that my Higher Power always knew what was best for me.  The things or situations or people I thought I wanted ended up being wrong for me.  The things or situations or people I thought to dispose of ended up being best for my personal growth.

Whenever I become frustrated or disturbed, I ask myself what I am afraid of.  I remember all the ways my life has expanded as a result of working the 12 steps and changing my behavior.  I stop pounding my fists, take a deep breath and calm down.  Almost as soon as I relax, a new miracle occurs.

Best,

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