My google alerts are set to include any article on eating disorders so I can stay abreast of current issues. Today, I read the article http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/desperate-housewives-syndrome-20120529-1zgoa.html and it caused me to think about how I felt when I first developed an eating disorder at age 15 compared to now. At 44 with over 12 years of recovery work under my belt, I can not tell you I am immune to the pressures of the media to look like I am 20 at age 44. So far, I have not succumbed to the internal pressure, but the pressure is there. These women in the movies and magazines look so beautiful and radiant!
So why haven't I gotten botox when so many women I know have? Certainly, it takes years off one's face and, when administered well, restores a woman's youthful appearance. I have not gotten botox for a few reasons: I have to wonder the longterm effects of putting toxins into my body, it has to be painful and my guts tells me that if I start with one botox, one will never be enough. Kind of like one drink was never enough. Either I feel secure I am enough despite my wrinkles, rolls or gray hairs, or I don't. Either I go down the road of clinging to external validation or I rely upon natural means to enhance my mental and physical health.
What does any of this have to do with addiction or recovery? The disease of addiction centers in the mind. The disease of addiction is that voice in our heads that tells us we are not enough, we will never be enough, if we had more or did more, we might stand a chance. The voice of addiction is insane. It comes up with ways and means to manipulate reality, the natural process of things, and act as God. While things may appear good on the outside, for a while, the good never lasts. Unless something is natural and serves the greater good, it eventually fizzles out, dries up, shrivels and suffers.
Everytime my head tells me I need to do something about the wrinkles on my face or the bulge in my belly, my recovery voice reminds me that the thing that truly makes me beautiful is my essence. My recovery voice tells me that with good behavior, substantial exercise, better nutrition, good times and meditation, the Light within me will get brighter! Recovery has given me a rational voice to counteract my feelings of inadequacy. While those feelings of inadequacy never go away completely, I rely on my spiritual program of action and the Grace of my HP to keep me free from bondage to Botox and outside fixes! Aging can be glorious if we place more value on personal growth than we do on wrinkle free foreheads!