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Category contains 2 blog entries contributed to teamblogs

Posted by on in Other Addictions

According to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Yet, this can be very difficult for many teens, who often live in denial when it comes to addictions.

However, no matter how long and complicated your teen’s addiction story is, there are motivating factors behind it. Typically these reasons fall into one, two or all three of these categories:

  1. Avoidance
  2. Escape
  3. Enhancement

How do teen behavioral specialist come to these conclusions? Well, teens who mask their feelings with addictive substances are doing one of the following three things:

  1. Trying to avoid dealing with something which causes them hurt
  2. Trying to escape from something they’re already dealing with, but hoping to avoid continuing to handle
  3. Trying to enhance, improve or heighten something about themselves

Guiding Your Teen towards the Road to Recovery

In the beginning, addictive substances are good at helping with all three of these categories. However, as time goes on, they no longer work anymore. But, now the teen is addicted to the substance, causing increasingly defiant behavior. So, what should a parent do to guide a teen towards the road to recovery?

When it comes to helping others with addictions, famous quotes can often put fear in the minds of parents. Some insist on what experts call “tough love”, an empowering tool that helps parents, and other co-dependents, learn to just say “no.” Then, there’s the famous consensus that a person “must hit rock bottom” before they can recover. Although this is true for some, it’s simply not the case with everyone.

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

Recently, I became more aware of the way "drama" has infiltrated my life, thinking and fulfillment.  Early on, I witnessed plenty of drama, which included melt downs, loud arguments, silent withdrawls, he said-she said, woe is me and ain't it just terrible!

In recovery, I became aware of how the witnessing of drama turned into personal drama as a way of life.  In place of healthy coping mechanisms, I too learned to rely on substances instead of handling my upsets and issues head on.  I learned to rely on drama to provide me with a sense of purpose, excitement and entitlement.

Now, after fifteen years sober and recent encounters with other highly neurotic, dramatic and unstable people, I finally see what it is that God is trying to teach me.  Thankfully, I have learned many coping mechanisms over the last fifteen years and I know what to do when I am triggered by outside or inner drama.

Additionally, I clearly see that it is my job to politely say "No, thank you" to the drama queens in my life and allow them to have their fits without getting entangled.  I can still love and support certain individuals but I no longer have to be their confidante in order to be valuable.  I believed if I wasn't "there" for these people, they would be angry with me, punish me and possibly perish.

What I realize now is that I have been acting in a self-serving way and it is not my right, part or need to interfere in other people's business.  Even when I am asked, I can say no thank you to matters that do not directly involve me. No matter what people do, say or how much they attack, I can choose to have faith in the Truth and not allow other people's drama to rent mental space in my head or interfere with my great life.

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

Teenagers usually consider their adolescent years as a time to try out different things and experiment with what they see others doing usually out of boredom or peer pressure or simply for fun. It is only natural for curiosity to get the better of them as they are young adults with raging hormones and an inquisitive mind. They strive to be cool and want to “fit in” with what they consider as the happening crowd in society and this pressure to fit in is what drives their activities and interests.

Many teens try alcohol, drugs and tobacco at some point or another. Most of them get over it after a couple of trials and move back to normal life, while some get latched on to them and are unable to resist the urge to take them every day. They become so dependent on these substances that they find it difficult to function in their day to day life without taking them. This abnormal dependency is called substance abuse.

Substance abuse does not only affect the life of the user and his family but can also end up becoming a matter of legal concern in the user’s neighborhood. It has been found that substance abuse, if not controlled or treated, can increase the chances of the development of a violent streak in the user. If you or your loved one has been on the receiving end of violent acts at the hands of a substance abuser, you can seek legal recourse against this crime by engaging an experienced dangerous drugs and pharmaceuticals attorney.

What most parents usually worry about is that their child might get addicted to drugs such as cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, marijuana and so on. But what they tend to overlook is that they are more likely to get addicted to substances like alcohol and tobacco which are available more easily than any of the other drugs. Teenage alcoholism is not unheard of and most teenagers will get hooked on to anything that is easily within their reach.

The Link between Substance Abuse and Violence

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Tagged in: drugs and alcohol

Posted by on in Other Addictions

There have been many times in my life when words or phrases came to mean something other than what many understand them to mean.  Off the top of my head I can think of a few examples.

My husband and I communicate in ways often causing our friends to do a double-take and wonder what in the world we are talking about.  For example, I might be in the living room doing something and yell down to my husband in the basement to bring me “that thing next to the big thing.”  Seconds later he hands me exactly what I needed.  We share a language created during our many years of living together.

Another opportunity to share a unique means of communication is in the work environment.  When I was still active in the corporate world, my team of many years knew exactly what each other needed or what we meant by a simple nod of the head or a raised eyebrow. We had spent hours together creating, editing, masterminding and learning to trust one another.  In all that time we eventually understood things without needing to say a word.  When we were in situations where verbal connection wasn't an option, those non-communication actions spoke volumes.  I was somehow comforted by this; feeling a sense of security knowing I was part of something uniquely special.

When I was drinking and rarely eating, there was a lot of conversation in my head which was uniquely special for me too.  I never shared these ongoing internal dialogues with anyone because I couldn’t explain them.  I had a difficult enough time myself just trying to understand how and why the subject matter would roll back and forth like a pendulum. One moment I’d be justifying my irrational behavior and the next I’d be mentally berating myself for having such thoughts.

I carried on with this silent metronome of conversation for years.  I was absolutely certain if anyone else could hear what I heard, they’d consider my train of thought not only foreign but nowhere near normal.

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Posted by on in Other Addictions

More often than not, sexual offenses have little or nothing to do with sex. Rather, they have to do with power and control. It is not always strangers who participate in heinous sexual offenses, as it has been increasingly found that even people you might be familiar with and trust could very well be party to such crimes. There is a thin line between sexual offenses and sex addiction. Sex addiction is a progressive and compulsive urge to engage in sexual activities, whereas sex offense is a non-consensual sexual activity. However, some sex offenses are a result of an unchecked addiction to sex, although the percentage of this is said to be low.

Not all sex addicts are sexual offenders. If you have had a history of sex addiction (or not) but have been wrongly convicted for a sex crime, you can consult or hire an experienced attorney who can help you defend yourself in court.

Sex offenders can be male or female. Some of the most serious cases of sexual abuse have been those involving not just adults, but also children. Parents are required to take precautions and guard their children against pedophiles as most of them turn out to be someone the parents trust, is familiar to the child and/or a person of authority. Some of the common behavioral traits, which should act as warning signs for parents, that are found among child sex abusers are:

  • Telling the child that they are special and treating them differently from other kids
  • Looking for excuses to spend time alone with the child
  • Touching the child inappropriately, especially on intimate body parts
  • Asking the child to carry out activities that involve intimate physical contact like massaging/rubbing the body, applying ointments, etc. or performing the same on the child
  • Looking at or touching the child's body on the pretext of observing their growth and development
  • Saying or describing sexual things to the child
  • Talking to the child about their body and their overall appearance in a sexual way
  • Showing sexually explicit pictures and videos to the child
  • Entering the child's room or bathroom when they are also in there
  • Not letting the child have friends and not letting him do things that other children do like playing, going out, etc.
  • Insisting that the child must not talk to anyone else except him/her (the pedophile)

Increase

There are things that parents can do to protect their children from such sexual predators. They can start by teaching their children a few important things that they can use to defend/save themselves. Some tips regarding the same are mentioned below:

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Tagged in: Child Sex Offenders
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