Addictionland Blog with Cate Stevens

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When To Restrain, Surrender and Accept

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Yesterday, I attended a recovery meeting for women in which many of the women shared about their dependency on a multitude of things other than drugs or alcohol. One woman with many years of sobriety shared about her addiction to the phone app Candy Crush, while another woman newly sober stated she could not stop eating M&Ms.

When I walked through the doors of my first recovery meeting, I believed it would be impossible for me to stop relying upon the variety of substances I needed to cope. A wise elder suggested that I concern myself with the primary addiction which would destroy my life first. For me, that was alcohol and drugs, since the combination landed me in an emergency room.

It is hard for a newcomer to understand that recovery takes time and it is important for us to accept ourselves and conditions we are uncomfortable with in order to recover. Knowing myself and my addiction very well after 15 years of recovery, I do not tempt my addictive side with games like Candy Crush. As for my food addiction, I am able to ingest sugar today without being set off on a binge.

These circumstances and decisions come naturally when I continue to work a spiritual program of action on a daily basis. The point I am making is time takes time and easy does it. We did not get addicted in a day and we will not turn around those addictive patterns in a day.

Consciousness will enlarge any thing we put our attention on. The literature says that alcoholics have magnifying minds. This means that the most important thing I can do on a daily basis is put my attention, as often as possible, on the positive thoughts, actions and a Power greater than myself. The more I focus on the good I want to grow in my life, the more that goodness will grow.

Recovery is just as much about knowing what and when to restrain, surrender and accept, as it is about not picking up no matter what!



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Cate Stevens. Founder of, has over fifteen years of recovery from food, drug, alcohol, cigarette and unhealthy relationship addiction. Cate’s approach to recovery is based on the 12 steps, as well the practice of spiritual principles, exercise, good nutrition, and meditation. Cate’s personal, ongoing recovery process has benefited tremendously from the free sponsorship of other women.

Cate has successfully coached hundreds of women to develop specific, daily action plans to support their personal and professional goals. Cate majored in journalism and communications and is the author of "Addictionland: Key Lessons from My Rollercoaster Ride to Freedom from Food, Drug, Alcohol, Cigarette and Unhealthy Relationship Addiction", a series of powerful vignettes.

As a motivational speaker, educator and coach, Cate is highly effective and inspirational. Cate leverages her experience from premier sales, management and leadership training programs to teach her clients how to be sober, productive and fulfilled.

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