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Welcome to my nightmare.

Posted by on in Drug Addiction
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Hello, Im Boots Without Straps. The name comes from the old saying that when life gets you down, you just have to "Pull yourself up by your boot straps", well my boots didnt come with any straps. The knot that your supposed to tie in your rope to hold onto, would never stay tied. The silver lining on every cloud wasnt silver but gray. Ive lived many years putting myself into harms way. Trying to stay a step ahead of both the law as well as the outlaw. Its nothing short of miraculous that I survived and that I didnt get caught up in the many legal entanglements that my peers did. I have no explaination save for the fact that I was sheilded by 2 of my husbands who were the face of the business each in their own time. However only the Divine protected me in those seasons where only I was responsible for my bad choices. If you take nothing else away from my story take this: ITS NEVER TOO LATE, NEVER! Never too late to reconcile with the people youve wronged when your selfish addiction took charge and shut down your sense of whats important in life. For an addict, nearly anything can be justified or simply pushed to the back of your mind when your broke, out of dope, or in debt to the hookup.

What follows is a true acccount of a girl raised in church by Godly parents who had 4 children, 3 of whom matured successfully into ideal citizens with financial, employment and familial prosperity. They all dated only one person all thru high school then married and went on to raise their children to also be model citizens. Obviously the parents did somethings right. The 4th child was scrawny, asthmatic, exceedingly immature and just a step out of sync with everybody around her. The only reason that Im taking this space to tell some history is to communicate the fact that the families and relatives of addicts are IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PERSON WHO FINDS THEMSELVES AN ADDICT. Addicts come from every conceivable background. I always said I felt like I was hardwired wrong. A thrill seeker from the beginning, by the time I was introduced to very many drugs: marijuana, qualudes, mandrex, acid, cocaine, hash, esssentially all the drugs available in the late 70s early 80s. But before meth, nothing had made a great impression on me. i thought they were ok but could live with them or without them. I think thats enough background before my first actual post of my journey into the deadly world of illegal substances. Terribly dangerous, to describe it as life and death is in no way an exaggeration as I was aware of many deaths over the years. Many overdoses, but not all. Thank you for your time.

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