Addictionland Blog with Cate Stevens

A Cutting Edge Addiction Recovery Blog about one woman's journey to recovery from multiple, life threatening addictions to reclaim her happiness and life.

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THE BIGGER, BETTER DEAL SYNDROME

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I was once given an assignment to write all the things I thought I needed in life to be happy and how I felt after I got them.  It went something like this:

I would be happier if I weighed 120 pounds

I would be happier if I were married

I would be happier if I worked for another company

I would be happier if I lived in a different city

The list went on and on with things I got which never succeeded in making me happy. I was always comparing myself and my situation with others and continued to feel inadequate. Sure, I had fleeting moments of excitement with each new attainment, but it became very clear to me that the problem wasn't my life-it was my goal.

My sponsor at the time suggested: Why dont you make something other than happiness (via money, men, weight, material gains) your goal?Increase  Why don't you try to make inner peace your goal?  See how that works for you.

She suggested I augment my practice of prayer and meditation and focus on remaining peaceful throughout the day.  This is no easy task for a bull in a china shop.  I had to learn to stop forcing my agenda in life to keep the peace.  I had to learan to let others be wrong without my saying anything to keep the peace.  I had to learn to shift gears when things werent going as planned to keep the peace.  I had to learn to slow down and meditate instead of run around like a chicken to keep the peace.

Peace as the goal transformed my life.  I never thought I would say this but I am finally in a place where I am no longer demanding things in order to be happy.  Rather, I am seeking the good in all that I have been given and savoring its sweetness.  I realize how quickly the moments pass along with opportunity to extract all the goodness out of each moment.  By focusing on the good in my life instead of the bigger, better deal that I fantasize about in my mind, I connect with the fulfillment of the current moment and I understand peace as I never could before.

Peace out!

Increase

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Cate Stevens. Founder of Addictionland.com, has over fifteen years of recovery from food, drug, alcohol, cigarette and unhealthy relationship addiction. Cate’s approach to recovery is based on the 12 steps, as well the practice of spiritual principles, exercise, good nutrition, and meditation. Cate’s personal, ongoing recovery process has benefited tremendously from the free sponsorship of other women.

Cate has successfully coached hundreds of women to develop specific, daily action plans to support their personal and professional goals. Cate majored in journalism and communications and is the author of "Addictionland: Key Lessons from My Rollercoaster Ride to Freedom from Food, Drug, Alcohol, Cigarette and Unhealthy Relationship Addiction", a series of powerful vignettes.

As a motivational speaker, educator and coach, Cate is highly effective and inspirational. Cate leverages her experience from premier sales, management and leadership training programs to teach her clients how to be sober, productive and fulfilled.


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