One thing I have found to be common among recovering addicts is that, when their primary coping source (drugs) is taken away, they turn immediately to physical intimacy for coping. This can lead manifest itself in sex and love addiction along with codependency. Recently I had the chance to film two wonderful podcast/vodcast episodes on both the topic of sex and love addiction and the topic of codependency and addiction. Both are a great source of information, but I wanted to include some of the highlights here for this amazing community at Addiction Land.
I didn't exactly understand codependency until author, therapist, and recovering addict D.J. Burr put it in these simple words.
“Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship with yourself that is typically manifested with other people.” – D.J. Burr, LMHC, NCC, S-PSB
He gave an example of being in a conversation with someone you just met, but in the back of your mind you are only thinking of all the negative things this person might be thinking about you. Of course, that person is probably not thinking anything of the sort, but that's a codependent behavior. D.J. is a great resource for more information on this topic and I highly recommend hearing what he has to say on the podcast.
On thing that really stood out to me about sex and love addiction was something that John Taylor said in his podcast episode.
“It’s not about becoming sexually sober, it’s about healing the relational wounds underneath.” – John
John explained how you can't be sober from food, money, or sex. These are basic needs in society and something we simply can't go without like drugs or alcohol. This makes food addictions, gambling problems, and sex/love addictions very difficult to overcome. However, it can be done and the two guests on this podcast episode really help to clarify that point.
I am just so grateful for the amazing resource we have today and wanted to share these two with you all. Hope you enjoy.