I feel most anxious inside when I am indecisive. When I have one foot headed in one direction and the other foot headed a different way, I feel disoriented, frustrated and hopeless. The third step says, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d." The third step says therere is Power in making a decision. The third step promises that the care of G-d awaits us when the decision we make comes from a desire to share our good with others.
Still, I continue to struggle about quitting my job in pharmaceuticals and pursuing a career in recovery. I want to have all the answers about what I will do, how much I will make and how happy I will be before I quit my job and take a big risk. What am I risking? Well, in my mind, financial security and freedom. My job in pharmaceuticals allows me to save money, spend money when I want and enjoy certain luxuries like vacations or shopping sprees. I don't have to ask permission or rely on my husband to take care of my needs. I feel more in control.
However, when I ask myself how happy these exterior luxuries really make me in the long term-or, better yet-how long the fulfillment lasts once I complete a vacation or buy a new purse, I realize I am only buying temporary joy. Real happiness is a by product of right living and right living is a by product of seeking the will of your heart and following its dictates-no matter how scary or risky they seem.
If I want to experience true joy, I must be willing to face my fear and walk out into the unknown. Leap and the net will appear. Countless other people have taken a huge risk with fantastic results. Why not me????? Why not you???
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