As time goes by and my life experience increases and deepens, I realize more what it means to let go and let God. Before now, I was unaware of all the silent demands I placed on people, places and things to behave and exist in a way I deemed acceptable. Discomfort and pain are my signals today that something is misaligned in my thinking, rather than in my life. I understand that rather than expecting outside conditions to change, I just might need to adjust my attitude and expectations.
It is a blessing to have that understanding. This understanding enables me to loosen my grip on what I prefer things to be and, instead, embrace what my Higher Power offers me. When I want others to act a way that will provide me more comfort, delight, security, etc -and they can't or won't act that way- I now accept things as they are, trust there is an opportunity to grow and look to adjust my perspective of God's goodness in my life. I ask myself questions like "How might this person, place or thing be a teacher for me? What lessons can I learn from this experience? What is this person, place or thing forcing me to address that I hoped to ignore or avoid?"
Recovery has taught me that when I am placing demands I am acting like a toddler having a tantrum. More than likely, God knows exactly what I need and when I stop pounding my closed fists on the table, he can gently place his goodness in my lap.