This is such an interesting and relieving time in my sobriety. Proof positive that outer conditions do not dictate our inner state is the fact that I have many of life's greatest challanges before me and yet, I have never felt more at peace or hopeful.
I have always been told 1) God never gives you more than you can handle and 2) God gives you what need, not what you want. Thirteen years into sobriety, I say "Thank God" on both accounts.
Because I do conduct a daily personal inventory, I have noticed that all of my needs are accounted for as long as I work my spiritual program. When I get to meetings, correct my mistakes, help others, pray, and meditate, the conditions of my life steadily improve and I notice synchronicity everywhere.
My mom has lung cancer and I yet I notice I am surrounded by loved ones and friends for support; when I need information regarding her medical treatment it comes through healthcare professionals I met at work; my boss allows me to take the time I need to be with my mom; the family all came together for my mom's recent birthday; my brother stayed in town all summer so she could spend time with her grandson, etc.
I look for the good and I find it. A lifelong habit of being angry and focusing on what's missing in my life is changing for the better. I hit my knees one day a year back and prayed that I be grateful for what I have. That time has come. The thought of losing a loved one as significant as my mother puts me in touch with the precious gift of every breath and every moment.
I have yet to meet a person who doesn't have a cross to bear. I can never save my loved ones from their growing pains, nor should I want to do so. As with me, growing pains are part of growing up. And, despite the fact that I resist things that are good for me, I still benefit from them if I persevere and trust that every challange is an opportunity to deepen my connection with Love.
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