“Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.  Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.” Pg. 62 Big Book

This paragraph can apply to a multitude of situations in recovery.  Today, I am thinking about my ego and how it likes to puff itself up at meetings.  Listening to other people’s opinions on the recovery process, I judge and become annoyed.  Why is this woman with twenty years of sobriety telling newcomers it is fine to wait two years before doing a fourth step?  I want to correct her.  I raise my hand in an attempt to do so and the person in front of the room does not call on me.

Internally, I ask my higher power if there is a reason I should not share.  I hear the words of a former sponsor in my head. She said, “Other people have a right to be wrong.  No one likes a know-it-all.  Allow people their journey.  Just pay attention to your own actions and make sure they are in accordance with God’s will. Learn to sit in the back of the busIncrease without needing to be noticed.”

I also reflect on a woman who once approached me at the end of a meeting to make an amends to me.  She told me how put off she was by my constant sharing at meetings.  She apologized because she realized it was my passion for recovery that led me to so.  There was a lesson for me in her feedback. Sometimes the best way to get a message out is to be a living example of the message and, nobody likes a know-it-all.

Best,

Increase

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