I made a mistake. I joined a group on Facebook called Big Book Thumpers without reading their mission statement and upset a lot of recovering alcoholics. Because I was accepted into their group, comments from each of the angry members kept popping up on my blackberry for me to read. I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment and shame with each additional post.
It was a great opportunity to do my inventory. What had I done to step on the toes of my friends and cause them to retaliate? Well, for one thing, I didn't follow the group rule of sharing specifically out of the Big Book. The next thing I did improperly was share a few posts I found interesting and they did not. Even when I tried to make amends for posting without reading the rules, he mechanism on my blackberry loaded my comment along with some information on Addictionland.com which was completely unintentional and made everyone even angrier.
Talk about stirring up controversy! Oh boy. The good news is my recovery is in tact and I will not drink over it. The group members had a right to be angry and I was being too narrow minded. I should have contributed to their conversation first, let them get to know and like me and then ask if they were interested in seeing an article which helps confirm what the Big Book already states. My aim was to spread the good word that modern medicine has finally acknowledged addiction as an illness instead of a moral dilemma.
Because of AA, I can process difficult emotions like anger and pain in a healthy manner, identify my wrong doings, make amends and learn from it. I like the part in the Big Book when it says, "It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile." pg 66
I retracted myself from the Big Book Thumpers group mainly because I was afraid if I posted again, something about Addictionland.com would pop up again without my intention. I can make an amends to these folks by living my life according to the Big Book and not doing any additional harm. I can pray that their good message reaches everyone who needs it. I loved what the group members had to say each day and was really enjoying the banter of the group. I do what I can to fix what I did wrong and then move on. As my sponsor always told me, I have a right to be wrong like the best of them!
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