I went to see a therapist for my eating disorder when I was in my early twenties. I thought the woman was off her rocker when she suggested I attend a meeting for alcoholic women in recovery. I wondered if she was listening to a word I said. I couldn't understand why she wanted to take me to meetings about alcohol when my issue was binging and purging. Or, so I thought...
Ten years later, I arrived at death's door from an overdose of alcohol and cocaine. Still, I thought it cocaine was cocaine that caused my near death experience. Only at the end of my using days did I keep alcohol in the house or drink alone. I never carried alcohol in my purse like a "real" alcoholics. I never got arrested for DUI. I never passed out in public.
It was only when a man with long term sobriety said to me, "Well, if you are not dependent on alcohol, then you will have no problem leaving the drink alone", that I realized my dependency. Immediately, I began to worry how I would get married, date or socialize without a drink in hand. My reservation about alcohol would be completely wiped out once I did a personal inventory of all the negative things which happened to me once I put alcohol into my system. Do regular people black out, drive under the influence or slur their words?
P.S. Read an excerpt from my upcoming memoir entitled "I Know" if you aren't quite sure whether you have a problem.