Addiction Recovery Blog

Addictionland - Addiction Recover Blog

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Login
    Login Login form
Category contains 4 blog entries contributed to teamblogs

Posted by on in Co-dependency

There is a cat sitting outside of my condo apartment meowing. She is not my cat. I've never seen her before. I can't and won't call security because if I do, they will take her away and I think she must belong to someone in the building or in one of the buildings here where I live.

I can't take her in because i have a dog, who, thank God, does not seem to be aware of her presence, though her meowing is LOUD.

I tried calling a couple of neighbors to see if they know whose family she is from, but it is very late at night and no one is answering the phone at this hour.

So, for tonight, anyway, I prayed for her to be protected and guided home and let it go.

If she is still there tomorrow, I will go door to door to help her find her home and will consult with other animal lovers in my not-very-animal-loving complex.

...
0

Posted by on in Co-dependency

Getting into recovery is one of the most purposeful things I have ever done. It took me from a life of denial, enabling, projecting, blame and judgment, into one of inner freedom and service. Yet, even in recovery, I continued to face the question: What is it that I am here to do?

For years I was a teacher and a school principal. Though the work was worthwhile, it didn't feel "on purpose" for me. I had this gnawing feeling there was something more I was supposed to be doing - a different path my life was meant to take.

Once I changed careers, everyone said that of course I would coach teachers and principals, and of course, I usually have a few clients who are teachers and principals. But, I knew right from the start of my coaching career that coaching educators was not my main purpose...

Eventually, I came across a Life Purpose Coach who took me by the hand and helped me find the detailed, specific contribution I came to this planet to make, day in and day out, in my career and in my life. For me, pursuing Life Purpose Coaching was a no brainer. I wanted to know mine. I had a deep yearning to know my True Purpose for being here so I could live out the rest of my days making the difference I was meant to make. So, I pursued the work with all of the energy I had given to the steps the first time my sponsor took me through them, and more.

Finding my purpose made such a huge difference for me. I knew exactly who I came here to serve and continue to learn more and more to this day about how to serve them.

...

Posted by on in Co-dependency

Ever find yourself thinking obsessively about your addicted loved one, wondering where they are, what they are doing, what they are thinking, if they are okay? Ever think that if you stop checking on them something terrible will happen and that if it weren't for them, your life would be so much better?

If so, you are not alone. One of the signs of codependency is being unable to stop thinking, talking, and building your life around your loved one. Notice, I said 'loved one' and not 'addicted loved one'.

In Alanon, there's a saying that you belong here if you are troubled by someone's drinking. In other words, it's not their problem, it is yours. You are troubled.

So the next time you find yourself obsessing about your loved one's drinking, drugging, smoking or other difficult behavior, remember that it truly is NOT about them. It's about YOU. It's about how you are spending the precious seconds, moments, hours and days of YOUR life.

Loving someone who uses is difficult.True. But, how and whether we respond or react to their behavior says more about us and our recovery than it does about theirs.

...
0

Posted by on in Co-dependency

Being a Loving Mirror (also known as BALM™) is one of the primary things I coach people on.

Briefly, Being a Loving Mirroris about living life from a calm center, especially in relation to the people around you whose behavior you find difficult to cope with. For people related to addicts or alcoholics, this way of being is serene and powerful.

When a Loving Mirror sees an active addict behaving in the ways that addicts do, he or she observes the behavior without judgment or anger, and, when the time is right, reports back to the addict what he or she has seen.

This is done calmly and objectively, with the goal of providing a loving mirror to the loved one who is doing so much harm to him/herself. Additionally, the person who is being a loving mirrorshares how the behavior is affecting those the loved one interacts with.

Finally, the person who is Being a Loving Mirrorlets their loved one know what they, the loving mirror, can and cannot live with.

...
0

Posted by on in Co-dependency

This blog could fit in the category of co-addiction or food addiction. More importantly, it is about recovery from whatever imbalance comes your way. While New Year's Resolutions attempt to bring balance to a life yet often fail to do so, recovery offers a tried and true way to observe ourselves when we are out of balance and to choose the tools that will help us regain balance as we face whatever life offers.

 

One of the great things about the New Year is the opportunity it gives us to begin again. No matter how many times we have tried and failed, the New Year invites us to pick ourselves back up and do it again. Recovery goes so well with this concept, as for many of us, including and especially family members, starting over is pretty much what we do.

We communicate effectively with our loved one and then suddenly, something happens and we lose it again. We detach for moments, hours or days at a time, and then find ourselves upset again by the actions of those we love.

This process, one that one of my recovery teachers referred to as “Practice, Practice. Fall, Fall. Practice, Practice. Fall, Fall” can happen at any time of the day or year. But the New Year offers a reminder of how important it is to make a new beginning. Turning the page on the past seems easier on January 1st. Somehow, it’s expected. It’s time for new resolutions. AS the old saying says, “Out with the old and in with the new!”

...
0


website by DesignSpinner.com | © Addictionland LLC