My sponsor told me that my negativity is my addiction personified. In other words, what I believe is wrong in me and the world will be outwardly projected into my life. If I believe I can't get sober, I won't. If I believe I can't succeed, I won't. If I believe the world is against me, it will be.
Conversely, recovery teaches me that the positive beliefs I form will manifest in my life. The emphasis switches from negative projection to positive projection. I believe I can be sober and I am. I believe I can recover from multiple forms of addiction and I did. I believe I can be successful at work and a great mother and I am.
I notice lately that there is an area of my life where I don't feel the peace and joy I want to feel and that is my marriage. In doing my tenth step and talking over my feelings both with a sponsor and a professional (therapist), I learned about the term "introjection." This is when you digest a part of your envirnonment (namely your original caregivers like your parents) whole.
These are some of the beliefs I digested by growing up in my home:
I should marry well (Rich, smart, Jewish, my own age, no baggage)...