My health. My son's health. My husband's health. A husband who accepts and adores me. My job. My home. My recovery program. My friends and supports. Waking up another day. Waking up without a hangover. Waking up without coming to. Remembering last night. Pretending to be Santa Claus and putting presents in my son's room knowing he expects a visit. Eating the cookie by my son's bed that was left for Santa. Looking at my son's innocent face while he sleeps.
Choosing the cheeriest wrapping paper I could find and wrapping matchbox toys. Eating nova on my bagel this morning with a fresh, red tomato. Helping a friend in recovery by phone. Doing my own inventory and calling my sponsor to wish her a merry christmas. Making plans for lunch with my sponsor. Polishing my toenails metallic grey. Praying for the families of the children in Connecticut.
My spiritual awakening. The world not ending on December 21. Going to Toys R Us with my family and watching my husband buy strangers toys. Donating clothes/toys to kids in need. Bringing chocolate kisses to the woman down the block who is doing chemotherapy for breast cancer. Celebrating my son's uniqueness. Witnessing my son make a homemade thank you note for Santa Claus. Building a car museum with magnatiles with my son.
13 years of sobriety on Dec. 20. Staying sober through difficult times, feelings and memories. Working my program and writing a gratitude list to lift me out of my hormonal funk. Getting back to the basics of my program to reconnect with the JOY of G-d right now. Focusing on G-d's love to refresh my sour interior. Not asking why I am sour but accepting it and moving into a solution. The ability to search and see all of my blessings instead of focusing on what is missing or wrong. Being at peace.
The gratitude list can go on ad finitum. When is the last time you made your list?...