Speaking for myself? An alcoholic who mistakes their mind for their spirit like I did for many years? Remains untreated or unable to support sufficient change in overcoming the hopelessness of alcoholism.. Their growth will remain stunted under a self serving low ceiling in an attempt to find a intellectual cure for their spiritual malady.This popular trap is easy to fall into. Denying the Spiritual malady exists.
We're talking addiction on a mass scale today so, of course there will be options offered that feed the masses. It would be irresponsible if there weren't. Like fast food. We as a society feed our bellies and also our minds while opting to neglect the spiritual realm for lack of the instant gratification offered with say, a ready and waiting Big Mac and fries on the fly. Benzos or opiates can rescue a drowning mind from a bad day in seconds to minutes. Meds can change us also but unless followed by an attempt at mind altering willingness of some kind? (Willingness being the key to the spirit). The meds stop and so do we.
Most are at best medically warehoused for a time only to pick up their old mindset again assuming over time a different result awaits. The selfish thinking of the survivor.. As if life would be complete if only they bring back the McRib. In actuality? We're starving ourselves on pork flavored chicken nuggets but at the moment? With a little BBQ sauce? The hunger problem is solved! No different than making our own arrangements to have our minds meet our needs for a quick fix feel good diet of people to save me, help me in the ever unfolding drama we can't control.. Give me people who understand right now! Who will validate me! But without spirit? We are starving there also as if drinking people until we are overdosed and sick..
Like buying a new shirt will bring attention from others? I mistake attention for acceptance. Notice me and I think I know what you think. I love my new shirt so you must also. In my selfish mind and sometimes self seeking actions I arrange you to think like I think so now? I can trust you. It's all about you and me now if only for a moment in time. My needs are met as if my fast food order is ready. The problem here is I alone don't like myself and have just arranged you to cosign me as if you were me. So in reality? Now? I don't like you. How could I? I hate myself already and suffer daily with no self worth and now I have you acting just like me so.. Do I subconsciously make myself pay for being a hypocrite? Maybe...Is there a part of me that is aware of my constant dishonesty yet remains inaccessible? Where I bounce off my low ceiling of self reliance? Yes, maybe, not sure, I don't know.
I need control. I need to create my own emotional security.So I rely on my own selfish thinking to make these arrangements and overcome my fear and self-centeredness, power through it all. Create my above average level of self esteem by stealing some of yours? You now like me so, I now like me. This is the extreme selfishness of the hopeless state of alcoholism as I have seen time and again in my life as I strive to surrender to the Higher Spirit of all things each day to live sober. This is my best thinking. A seemingly ongoing war between good and evil each day sober no different than each day drinking. More mental hopscotch. Nothing changes until I am willing to address the Spiritual malady....