Last weekend I went away with my husband to visit his daughter in NYC. She is about to get married and the purpose of the trip was to join her for her fitting, get better acquainted with her in-laws and to be part of the wedding planning process.
From the goodness of my husband's heart, he purchased two expensive tickets to to the city, took groups of people out Friday and Saturday night and happily attended his daughter's fitting. Seemingly out of nowhere, his daughter pulled him aside and accused him of being "emotionally abusive to her for the past ten years." Her parents got divorced ten years ago. This coincided with the end of her limitless supply of money from her father.
Immediately, all kinds of judgment formed in my head about her behavior, her perspective and her upbringing. To me, this was a girl who went from spoiled rotten to severly resentful. Despite the financial constraints post divorce, she made a decision on her own to move to the Big Apple and ignore its high cost of living. She would make it on her own she said, yet continues to take a couple hundred dollars from dad each month.
While I was bitching in my head about her disrespectful behavior, several other thoughts came to mind. "Who are you to judge her?" "Maybe you are jealous of the lifestyle she is about to marry (her husband to be's familyis filthy rich and she doesn't have to work)." "How do you know what her experience was with her father growing up? Maybe his ADD did get in the way of them forming a deep personal relationship. Maybe she wanted to connect with him on a deeper level and when she couldn't. Maybe shopping for her is a way to distract herself from her pain....