Addictionland - Addiction Recovery Blog

"Yet we can't well content ourselves with the view that all these recovery failures were entirely the fault of the newcomers themselves. Perhaps a great many didn't receive the kind and amount of sponsorship they so sorely needed. We didn't communicate when we might have done so. So we AA's failed them. Perhaps more often than we think, we still make no contact at depth with those suffering the dilemma of no faith."

Bill Wilson, AA Grapevine, April 1961 "The Dilemma of No Faith"

Cross posted at Thump.

In early recovery, it was suggested "don't drink/use, stay out of relationships, go to meetings, change people, places and things and get a sponsor."  While the suggestion to abstain from alcohol and drugs was the most important suggestion, the suggestion to get a sponsor was second in importance.  Without a person to guide me through the steps or demonstrate sobriety to me, I would be lost.

At first, I picked a sponsor who was as well as me (which means not well at all!!)  It took a while until I realized it wasn't okay to smoke pot "once in a while" with twelve years of so-called sobriety.  Next, a professional, Jewish woman like myself approached me to offer me guidance after announcing I was sponsorless.

I went through the steps with her and slowly pushed her away when a sexier sponsor caught my eye.  He (yes, I did say he!) was Italian, suave, brilliant and emotionally unavailable.  He was exactly what I needed because I had no self worth and chasing him gave me a sense of purpose!

Thankfully, the wisdom he emparted was solid and chasing him from meeting to meeting enabled me to get quite an education on recovery.  He went to 4-5 meetings a day and so did I!  Eventually, he broke up with me and I had to find a power I could rely on.  I found a woman with 25 years to take me through the steps again and she taught me how to use the steps to strengthen my connection with my higher self, which I call G-d.