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Addictionland - Addiction Recover Blog

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NICOTINE

Posted by Cate
Cate
Cate Stevens. Founder of Addictionland.com, has over fifteen years of recovery f
User is currently offline
on Wednesday, 01 September 2010
in Cigarette Addiction 1 Comment

I picked up my first cigarette in college.  My roommate smoked and asked me to join her for a Virginia Slim and a study break.  It didn't take long for cigarettes to accompany me to the coffee house or to bars/late night partys with alcohol and drug were served.  Soon, I developed a pack a day habit, although I rationalized that my ciggies were ultra lights.

I can't count how many times I tried to quit.  Each time I did, I lasted a few hours before a cigarette was back in my hand.  I purchased my  cigarettes from the drive through Farm store and every time I passed one, the cigarettes called me by name. "Pssst, Cate, come buy a pack. What's one more day going to matter?"

After a decade of smoking, I was choking and hacking.  I smelled, my car smelled, my clothes smelled and my breath smelled.  I couldnt leave the house without my ciggies in my purse.  I lied to dates so I wouldn't be a turn off.  I lied to my customers so I wouldnt be a fraud (hard to sell healthcare and smoke!)

A guy I was dating in recovery said to me, "It's me or the cigarettes."  My lust for him was greater than my desire to smoke so I decided to give quitting another try.  I used breathsavers to address my nicotine cravings.  I popped one in my mouth every time I wanted a smoke.  I jogged with frequency and used the 12 steps to address my obsession.

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