Addictionland - Addiction Recovery Blog

I believe that setting for your Practice is important. When talking about my own Eleventh Step practice, I usually refer to myself has a bit “airy fairy,” by which I mean that my wife and I have a meditation room that is set aside just for that purpose, decorated with artifacts we deem holy. You may find your favorite ambience, as others do, in nature; sitting on the shore by the ocean, or strolling through the woods and settling down by a stream to embrace your quiet surroundings.

Practiced meditators suggest that we create a spot to return to daily, and I invite you to explore this idea–whether the space be on your deck outside, overlooking an expansive view, or a room in your house, or even just a certain corner of a room; we can create a holy setting as long as we return daily. The continuous practice in the same place will effectuate the vibration of peace; you will find yourself wanting to enter into the practice as you approach your sitting area.

I find early morning to be the best time; it is said that when the world around you starts waking up, their mental vibrations can be picked up. This is why 4 a.m. is a nice time to begin sitting, as most people in your neighborhood won’t be noisily awake yet–sitting with one’s own busy mind is enough to attend to, and when you bring in the whole community it will become an exhausting practice of observing not only your thoughts but everyone else’s also.

The ambiance my wife and I have created in our meditation room makes the early morning call to practice one of complete enjoyment. I awake between 3 and 4 a.m. almost daily, and the ritual of practice begins as I descend from upstairs and walk into the meditation room, which is already aglow with the warmth of indirect lighting. My cushion is in place before an altar; holy images of spiritual figures seem to gaze back at me. I sit between two large Tibetan Singing Bowls, and as I strike the bowls, their vibration engulfs the room, and the crystals immediately catch the glow of candle light. Then the sandalwood incense is placed in the huge brass holder, the fragrance fills my surroundings and I find myself being transported to a place in consciousness–meditation has began. It all happens with the intention that has been established from showing up to daily practice for decades. The excitement to sit each day in a space that was created for participating in the Eleventh Step is contagious.

We experience thousands of uninvited thoughts per minute, accompanied by their sidekicks: emotions. Many people move through life in a state of feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, as if it’s an avalanche that is pouring over them. They become stressed, depressed, sad, and angry–the list goes on. This perpetuates the everlasting search for the hidden treasure, the secret key that will relieve these unwanted emotional symptoms, these feelings. We become convinced that more–more money, a more loving relationship, or a new house will offer relief. And of course, there is the obvious answer for many–a substance, something that will step in as the salve for our emotional wounds.

The real salve, for me, as for many who will read this, was the introduction to the Twelve Steps, the superstar being Step Eleven. Through the practice of meditation I have learned to just sit and observe. I love the magic of my breath, which I feel by paying attention as I breathe in and breathe out. This practice also brings my awareness to uninvited thoughts as they arise; I find the practice of hyperawareness is like an introduction to these uninvited thoughts and emotions. I’m able to sit and note their presence, let them travel on as I say goodbye, while I just return to the breath.

When the nature of mind is not observed, it’s as if the mind has a mind of its own. Soon, we are once again lost in our emotions. I’m confronted many times a day by obstacles my thoughts try to convince me are real, but the practice of seated meditation acts as a translator to what is going on within. When feelings arise unobserved, they can take us captive, and we become subject to anything they suggest, which may be anger, fear, or sadness. Going to our cushion each morning, we can look forward to the practice of observing what arises. With a sudden awareness, we pinpoint what we are sad about–the loss of a job, perhaps, but with clarity we see many areas of our life are full of loving kindness. We can then let the sadness be with us, but it is not about our whole life. I learn to make friends with these uninvited guests, these emotions, learning to embrace them as they arise, which brings an intimacy to the mystery of my mind.

The daily practice of mindfulness brings spiritual discernment to the forefront. I would love to sit with you when it is time–I do it again and again.

A question I am asked frequently is, "What does it look like to 'Live and Let Live' or 'Surrender to Freedom' or 'Turn it Over' as suggested in the 3rd step?"

I had a sponsor who always reminded me that whenever I am disturbed I am the problem. I am in fear of either losing something I want or never getting something I think I need. My real problem is my perception of what I need and my perception of how God is or is not working in my life. In order to connect with the solution, which is always spiritual and will never be my own thinking, I follow certain daily steps and so far they have worked.

To bring the slogans to life-no matter which slogan you choose-I pretty much follow the same disciplines. In no particular order:

1. Read 12 step literature or a spiritual meditation book when I arise to set my mind on spiritual, rather than material, goals.

It's always about LOVE.

During those years with Flobird, we watched her live her life for others, and we felt the unconditional love that poured out of this woman. She taught me that when we speak of being of service, we are really whispering the secret of life. She served with such an uncanny joy and effortless approach that those around her were inspired to roll up their sleeves and learn the art of loving.

Flobird’s teachings were always simple. I remember something she once said that affected me deeply. I was in the backseat of a Dodge Dart driven by a guy named Steven. We were driving though Kailua on Oahu, and Flobird was in the front seat.

“Do you know how you can tell when you’re making progress on the spiritual path?” she asked. “How do you know you’re getting closer to God-consciousness?”

Members of twelve-step recovery groups have heard the words “ninety meetings in ninety days” spoken in meetings throughout the world. This challenge to the newcomer is put forth to establish not only the discipline of attending meetings, but also to allow them to reap the benefits of doing so. The nature of our mind, when controlled by ego, is to fill our heads with self talk that the need to show up for anything that would benefit our lives is unnecessary. A stream of thoughts containing an infinite amount of excuses as to why not to show up, are not the true message from The Divine, but from the ego that does not want to go into retirement.

I would like to suggest to devotees of the Eleventh Step to show up for meditation using the slogan “ninety in ninety,” as the inspiration to practice meditation daily. The busy and restless mind will endeavor to put its most convincing voice to your ear. “I’m busy” or”I have to leave for work early,” etc., are the messages the ego will try to use to prevent you the opportunity to start the day with mindfulness. Our commitment to practice is our initiation to the status of spiritual warrior. With this new status we win over the false self with kindness. Show up daily, sit on your cushion, and you will experience paradise by breathing in and breathing out mindfully. Mindfulness turns all experiences into a prayer.  You will be roused within to seek a deeper practice.

Some of us need to be backed up against the wall by one of life’s painful situations before we remember the Twelve Steps. But too often, when we are in pain, we may leap into the inventory process, writing furiously and hoping for promised relief. We may begin writing a Fourth Step . . . but in our impatient despair, we may skip over Steps One through Three. This beclouded decision to start the steps with the Fourth Step emerges from a mind that has been confused in the darkness of anguish.

However, with guidance, we can find proper alignment and work the steps, starting with the first and ending with the twelfth. There is an unspoken guarantee that this spiritual process will bring freedom and new understanding to any difficult situation, always contingent on one’s willingness to live a spiritually principled life.

For many years of recovery I practiced the steps, knowing they were my torch through the dark periods caused by the onslaught of life’s challenges.

In the late 80’s, and almost twenty years into recovery, I found myself a bit dissatisfied with my meditation practice. I wouldn’t describe the situation as being dark, but more like the opacity of candlelight in the early morning. Any suffering was caused by my anticipation (expectation?) of celestial visits, or visions of the third eye. I wanted each meditation to be extraordinary, thinking that practicing every day would be an invitation to the ones that have ascended.

Although I wasn’t backed up against an insurmountable wall with this situation, I decided to work the steps, with my subject matter being the Eleventh. Freedom came, as guaranteed, but it wasn’t the promise of a bright light engulfing me with each sit, but an understanding that my part in the practice was to just show up and be with what arises. This was the beginning of my meditation practice turning to a mindfulness practice.

A short video from a scene in The Mindful Addict; meditation is about starting over again and again. Distractions will bombard the mind, we just keep returning to the breath, that’s our practice.

I received this letter from a reader last night and wrote the answer on my 12stepfamily.com blog.

http://12stepfamily.com/2012/02/02/setting-boundaries-will-it-force-him-to-choose-between-his-drugs-and-me/

Wanted to share it with all of you. If it is helpful, that's great! Feel free to send me your letters, questions, comments, requests at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Would love to hear from you and share my perspective on Family Recovery!

Best,

Coach Bev

Like the pursuit of education in any other sphere, my spiritual education has included many different classes and teachers. The apparent difference is that there will be no graduation day; the call for continuing education credits is ceaseless.

The way of the Veda or Vedanta influence in the 60’s captured the attention of my spirit while it permeated the philosophy that influenced the “flower children.” I was immediately drawn to the words of Yogananda and Maharishi–little intellectual understanding was necessary, as the vibration of the words found their way to my heart. I suddenly knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a spiritual seeker. There has been no turning back.

Over forty years later, my education continues with enthusiasm, I walk the spiritual path characterized by diversity; my soul has been touched by a number of practitioners, from many different spiritual paths.

The Twelve Steps act as the solar lights that line the path, guiding me in the right direction. Embracing the Eleventh Step enables me to fly free to continue my awakening.

The words of the Christian Mystics resonate within me–Brother Lawrence, St. John of the Cross; I have also hung on the words of Thomas Merton, a Catholic Monk who at the end of his life became close friends with the Dali Lama.

There is a cat sitting outside of my condo apartment meowing. She is not my cat. I've never seen her before. I can't and won't call security because if I do, they will take her away and I think she must belong to someone in the building or in one of the buildings here where I live.

I can't take her in because i have a dog, who, thank God, does not seem to be aware of her presence, though her meowing is LOUD.

I tried calling a couple of neighbors to see if they know whose family she is from, but it is very late at night and no one is answering the phone at this hour.

So, for tonight, anyway, I prayed for her to be protected and guided home and let it go.

If she is still there tomorrow, I will go door to door to help her find her home and will consult with other animal lovers in my not-very-animal-loving complex.