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Posted by on in Alcoholism

Letting go of what? Everything? Baggage? My drinking? Just my crazy thinking? My past? What? I didn't know. Nor could I read, retain, and apply my recovery as others seemed to do..I'm stuck with myself.

 

Big Book suggests selfishness self-centeredness, the suggested root cause of alcoholism. Fine. So what are they talking about "selfishness". Well? To get a good look at selfishness they suggest looking at resentment. Looking at resentment without the thought of others involved. Straight into the mirror. Resentment in me, mine, why the anger? I'm angry because I'm afraid of the outcome? Fear? Anger rises from fear? No coping skills? I lash out at fear in an effort to control it? I'm angry because I have lost the control over the situation? I'm what...emotionally threatened then afraid? What am I afraid of? Not being in control? Why the dire need to hang onto "control" for my emotional security. Eh.. selfishness, lack of control, ...Security affected, resentment? Why the need to jockey for position with every person place or thing I am threatened by? Don't I have any self reliance at all? Geeze ..Why am I always threatened? I am full of resentment so I'm what.."full" of fear first? Self-centered to the extreme? And why especially toward the end of my spiral into the depths of self am I threatened by all things and not just other people? I'm creating it. I am so self centered I can't get out of myself. As if I myself are the threat to my self, just being there in all thought creates an impending doom. No matter what I think or do it'll never work, I'll never succeed at anything. I'm failing before I begin. I hate myself yet put myself, my thoughts into everything? Holy extremist! How does somebody get this screwed up!

 

Or wait..I'm assuming this is new or maybe just developed since I began drinking alcoholically? This must be "why" I began drinking alcoholically!  Or has it been like this all along..This is self centeredness? Fear? Self centered fear? Me involved in everything, I must control  the world and everyone in it to create my self esteem? Well one big problem with this whole alcoholism thing is, I think I know what everyone thinks? ok...I'm a people worshipper, a survivor. I think, you think, therefore I am complete with your thinking and substitute it as my own. Why? Alone I am nothing. So? Everything is centered around me, has some effect on me. I am the wheel hub. But if I still have no direction or willingness to change, that doesn't really answer anything, it just gives me another word to work with, a tool in my AA recovery tool box. The philosophy of me..Just like my Higher Power, my access to the Spiritual realm. Something to talk about. Sure I talk about God with others as if myself a true believer. Yes, the talk option is in the box somewhere too..I had it this morning when I was talking to God. When I had God on line one..

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

Simplified Robert’s Rules of Order for use at AA Business Meetings

Robert’s Rules of Order are used around the world to allow organizations to make decisions in a timely and mutually accepted manner. They are designed to allow groups with widely opposed factions to come to agreement. They are not the only kind of informal parliamentary procedure, but they are relatively simple and familiar in essence to many people.

This document presents a simplified version for use in the business meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous or other 12-step programs. This is not General Service Conference-approved A.A. literature, but it does reflect common practice.

 

Main ideas:

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

A Twelve-Step Funeral or Memorial Service

 

As assembled and adapted by Glenn C. (South Bend IN). The actual funeral or memorial service will use some of these prayers and readings and omit others. In particular, if there will be a number of people speaking and two or three musical pieces, a good many of these prayers and readings will need to be left out.

 

Opening Prayer 

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

A Journey, a Waiting Room, and a Terminal

 

            There once was a man who was sick and tired of being where he was. He wanted to get out of that place. So he paid the price and did all it took to be able to begin his journey. Because he wanted to fly away to a better place, he went to the terminal and looked at all the posters on the wall and he found a glimpse of a better place. So he was given the opportunity to go there. The next day, he told himself, he would start.

            The following morning found him sitting in a waiting room near the entrance, maybe a distance of 12 steps away from the door, and passing the time with other people who were there. One or two had traveled to his special dream place before and spoke of its beauty, but they couldn't really tell the man how to get there because it had been so long ago for them since they traveled there and enjoyed the place. Most, like our man, had instead sat many days near the door, but had never made the trip. They sat and talked and visited and found that they had much in common: they were all sick and tired of being where they were. And they talked and talked and talked, and missed their opportunity that day to go.

            The next day, they showed up at the terminal again. Some had a good day, and shared that; some had a rotten day, and shared that. They all looked forward to being in a better place. They talked excitedly about that place. Some said they knew how to get there, but the more knowledgeable knew the route they spoke of would never get anyone to the special place. They debated the best route. They got angry. But in the end they made up and hugged, for they were going to make this journey together and wanted decent fellowship. They left the waiting room for a few minutes to get coffee and pie, but as they visited there, they missed the flight again.

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Posted by on in Alcoholism

The Prayer of Praise (Anthony de Mello)

 

If I had to choose the one form of prayer that has made Conscious Contact most real in my life and given me the deepest sense of being supported by the loving providence of God, I would unhesitatingly choose the Prayer of Praise.  I would also choose it for the great peace and joy it has so often brought me in times of distress.

The prayer consists, quite simply, of praising and thanking God for everything.  It is based on the belief that nothing happens in our lives that is not foreseen and planned by God – just nothing, not even our shortcomings.

Defects of character are obviously something that we should work at avoiding as much as possible.  But we can praise God even for them when we have made amends, because He will draw great good from them.

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