Addictionland - Addiction Recovery Blog

Raising a teenager is one of a parent’s biggest woes. At their age, teenagers have been known to experiment with illicit substances like drugs and alcohol. Their minds may be too young to comprehend the damage this can bring to their lives. Once the situation gets worse, the entire family may be affected. It is now up to the parents to help their children get through this phase.

 Helping their teens overcome addiction is a challenge for every parent. Raising a drug-free child is one thing; treating a drug-addicted child is another. Though it may seem like a losing battle, parents should find comfort in the thought that there is still hope for their teens. Here are five tips to help their children overcome drug addiction. 

Show the Child Unconditional Support

Instead of condemning their children for substance abuse, parents should show them that they are loved in spite of what they did. Now is the time for parents to be more understanding of their troubled teen. They should put aside any anger or disappointment they might be feeling, and focus on supporting their teen through the ordeal.

Communicate with the Teen

I want to start out by thanking Cate for inviting me to share on this great site. And I want to let you know that being called an “expert” is slightly more than terrifying. I have a great deal of respect for women and men who work as professionals in the addiction recovery field, and I am (slowly) working towards a life coach certification to coach recovering women one day, but I’m not there yet.  For today, I’m just another woman living in recovery.

Twenty some years ago, I surrendered to the fact that I was an addict. I didn't come into recovery at the "height" of my drug-using insanity – the crazy days for me were years earlier, before I had my two beautiful daughters. I found that I didn't have to be using like my former crazy person self in order to hit a bottom. When I stopped using drugs in 1989, it was because I believed with every ounce of my being that I had really, truly and finally had enough. I wanted a new reality, to find a new way to live, mostly for my daughters. I always say that I got into recovery for my kids (yes, I believe you can get clean and sober for other people) but I stayed in recovery for myself.

For the past 24 years, I have been finding my way back to myself. I think that’s what recovery is – recovering our potential, our hopes and our dreams. For most of the past two decades I have worked a program of recovery, and sought a heck of a lot of outside help. My recovery run was interrupted with insanity just once, in 2000. For a couple of days, I took prescription narcotics to deal with some overwhelming grief that I just didn't think I could bear. I chose not to bear it, I guess. I took the narcotics as prescribed – unfortunately they were prescribed to my mother, who had just died. I did not, at that time, consider taking those pills a relapse in my recovery. When I re-thought that idea four years later, I changed my recovery anniversary date and starting "counting" all over again.

Tonight I will celebrate 13 years of abstinent recovery with a bunch of miracles and a cake (no, I haven’t managed to give up sugar – yet). This last 13 years of abstinent recovery has been as amazing at the first 10. I’m fortunate that my two days of using in 2000 didn’t turn into the rest of my life. I don’t plan on experimenting again.

I lay on a metal gurney inside an emergency room. A hospital gown covers my pale, thin skin. My mother is driving over to meet me at the hospital. Until now, the severity of my drug addiction has been a secret to her and the rest of my family. They were aware I suffered from bulimia in college but they believed I overcame it.

The on-call cardiologist is about to break my denial and my mother’s denial regarding my addictions.  He enters the dark cave housing my metal gurney and announces the results of my blood test.

“It shows here you were admitted to the emergency room with a toxic amount of cocaine in your system,” he says.

 “I went at a party. I tried cocaine for the first time. I didn’t realize how much it would affect me. I did too much,” I replied.

 “So, you want me to believe that this was your first time using cocaine?” the physician asked. He took a good look at my 5’8”, 115 pound frame and rejected my lame excuse. 

My first addiction in my youth was co-dependency.  I didn't realize it but the healthy boundaries that should exist between parent and child did not exist in my home.  My parents weren't bad people. Quite the contrary, they were productive, involved and good people.  Unfortunately, they married young with wounds they never healed from their own childhood and very poor communication skills. 

As a result, I became my mother's sounding board for her negativity, pain and secrets and I became my father's distraction for the lack of intimacy in his marriage. He came to me for affection and attention, not sexual needs.

Needless to say, I was a breeding ground for all sorts of uncomfortable feelings ranging from rage, sadness, guilt, shame, fear and panic.  I further developed an unhealthy dependence on my best friend and later, my boyfriend. I lived in fear of being abandoned if I didn't meet other people's needs. If my best friend was bitchy, I tried to be nicer so she would be kind. If my Dad disapproved of my boyfriend and pulled away from me, I broke up with boyfriend to get his love.

With all that untreated internal chaos, I became bulimic at sixteen.  At eighteen, I started to drink, snort lines,  take an occasional ecstasy, cheat on my boyfriend and smoke cigarettes.  By twenty one, I was a hot mess.  I was active in all of my addictions with my eating disorder being the major cause of my distress.

The past ten days have been some of the most difficult days of my life.  It started with a call to my father, a board certified physician, to check on my mom after her first dose of hard core chemotherapy. "I didn't want to wake her," he says. "But she needs to be hydrated, Dad. Wake her up."

Several minutes later he calls back.  "Can you come over now," he says nearly crying. "I need your help.  Mom is non-responsive."

I arrived at the house along with the paramedics.  They forced her to wake up and she was unable to speak.  She had a look of terror in her eyes as she did all she could to spit out a single word. "What?" she asked in a gurgled, distorted voice. "What? What?"

I knew what she was asking me.  What am I doing here?  What is going on?  What are these people doing in my room in the middle of the night?  What happened to me?

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. -- Helen Keller

Addiction is the cause of extreme suffering for many individuals and their families.  The use of illicit drugs and the abuse of alcohol will often result in significant consequences for many Americans let alone the harm caused to our communities.   With the proliferation of the electronic age there is not a lack of information or awareness with the scope of the addiction challenge.

Pharmaceutical Opioid drugs such as Oxycodone has wreaked havoc in middle income neighborhoods that at one time seemed to be exempt of such mass damage.  The Crack epidemic of the 80’s and 90’s seemed to rear its ugly head in the inner cities of the country.  Methamphetamine played a huge role in the South and Southwest regions of the country.  But today the every region of the country seems to be impacted by this epidemic.  Alcohol issues continue to play a negative role in the country as well with little signs of letting up its strangle hold on millions of Americans.

Yet with all of that said, as bleak of a picture as it may seem to be, recovery works.  Millions of Americans seek treatment each year and many are successful.  Mutual support and recovery groups have strengthened the access to long-term community support and fellowship.  Groups that utilize the Twelve-Step process continue to grow as well as new science and psychological based groups that have emerged on the scene offering a wide variety of self-improvement options.  Yes, the world of addiction is full of suffering, but the recovery process helps those afflicted to overcome it!